We haven’t had any Tim Viners for a while, so here they are:
- I’ll tell you what makes my blood boil…crematoriums.
- I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. I thought, ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
- I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy.
- Did you know if a stick insect laid its eggs in a jar of Bovril, it will give birth to a litter of Twiglets?
- I was having dinner with my boss and his wife and she said to me, ‘How many potatoes would you like Tim?’ I said, ‘Ooh, I’ll just have one, please.’ She said, ‘It’s OK, you don’t have to be polite.’ ‘All right,’ I said, ‘I’ll just have one then, you stupid cow.’
- You know, I’m not very good at magic – I can only do half of a trick. Yes – I’m a member of the Magic Semi-circle.
😎 Good post!
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I do love the way you think…great post…I’d sigh, but I don’t have a big enough sigh for some of these…which I will pass on to others to enjoy…and sigh about !
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Love the magic semi circle 😀
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Every one a cracker!
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He is sooo funny.
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I love twiglets but this has put me off them! Sally
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We bought them for the first time last Christmas and thought they were disgusting!
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My husband would agree with you – Fraser will eat them.
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so will I, I love them.
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Is it a marmite thing – love it or hate it?
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Definitely!
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I think it is.
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Tilly, i’m lost again … don’t understand anything – so I go and hide for a couple of hours.
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They are puns and probably require a native’s use of English idioms to understand.
Sorry!
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Linda, please don’t be sorry …. I’m very understanding *laughter
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Consider my American Stomach turned…
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😀
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Thanks for the laughs!
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Got a chuckle from some of these.
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I liked the “stupid cow” one. What’s wrong with me?
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You are invariably polite and it brings out your dark underbelly 🙂
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Now I know why I never liked Twiglets.
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