Archive | February, 2013

A Horse Meat Of A Different Colour

28 Feb
English: Donkeys on the beach at Scarborough. ...

Donkeys on the beach at Scarborough. Donkey rides are a common feature on British beaches. These donkeys were photographed while they were taking a break and eating from nose bags. Also on the beach is a small amusement park (left) and the lifeboat station (right) http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/192382. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We think we’ve got it bad?

I just read a report in the Mail & Guardian that South Africans are eating ‘beef’ which is really goat, donkey and water buffalo.

Professor Louw Hoffman makes an excellent point:

There’s nothing wrong with eating donkey meat if you like eating donkey meat. It’s not more or less unhealthy than any other species. It boils down to the fact that you want to know what you’re eating.

Although, to be honest, if I’m eating donkey, I don’t think I do want to know what I’m eating.

I found this comment surprising:

The department of agriculture, forestry and fisheries has pointed out that eating unconventional species such as donkey, goat and water buffalo may seem unthinkable to many South Africans but it does not pose an automatic health risk.

What surprised me is that eating unconventional species is ‘unthinkable to many South Africans.’  This in a country which has a wonderful restaurant called The Train (in Midrand), where I have eaten elephant, shark, crocodile, giraffe and warthog.  They also serve water buffalo; but they don’t call it ‘beef’.  They call it ‘water buffalo’.

If you are ever in Midrand, you should visit The Train.  It’s less than R40 a head.  That’s about £3!  Or $4.50.

But be warned: they don’t have  a children’s menu.  Someone ate all the donkeys.

Joke 707

28 Feb
Flying Cow Airplane

Flying Cow Airplane (Photo credit: kfergos)

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. “Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?” she asked. 

“No, thanks,” replied the vultures.

“They’re carrion.” 

*

From ahajokes.

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Beyond (2)

27 Feb

DSCN0927

As one cannot wear a velour track suit without looking scruffy, even when one’s velour track suit is brand new; and one cannot help but look triple-chinned when one’s Hub takes a standing photo of one whilst sitting, I think one’s caving to your demands for a photo takes one above and beyond the call of blogging duty, hence one’s use of formal language to distance oneself from – or get beyond, if you will – a very unflattering photograph.

Really, dear readers, insisting on photographs to back up photographic prompt posts is beyond the pale.  One might even call it madness.


Joke 706

27 Feb

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how

A pregnant woman

A pregnant woman (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.  Just make several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”

She looked at the men in the room. “And Gentlemen, remember – you’re in this together – it wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her.”

The room went quiet as the men absorbed this information.  Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

“Yes?” asked the Instructor.

“I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

*

Thanks to Elaine at I Used To be Indecisive for this one.

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Beyond

26 Feb

The Daily Post sent out this prompt on January 18th.  I’m getting faster at responding!

There is no photograph to illustrate it, for reasons that will become apparent.

The Hub bought me a velour track suit today.  It is so comfortable, I think he should buy me another.

Save yourselves – I am beyond help.

Joke 705

26 Feb

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk

Kitteh drunk on non-alcoholic beer.

Kitteh drunk on non-alcoholic beer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you’re drunk

a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you’ re drunk

a) Thanks, but I don’t want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight?
f) I’m not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn’t – no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have zero co-ordination.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

From Will & Guy.

Only Six?

25 Feb

Many of us think of our lives as boringly normal, while others live the high life. Take a step back, and take a look at your life as an outsider might. Now, tell us at least six unique, exciting, or just plain odd things about yourself.

Odd Facts from Modern Wonder Magazine 1939

Odd Facts from Modern Wonder Magazine 1939 (Photo credit: Smabs Sputzer)

  • I can curl my tongue and my toes at the same time
  • I can tap dance
  • I cannot blow my nose in public or while wearing glasses
  • I have been on telly several times
  • I can read upside down
  • I cannot tell a joke without forgetting the punchline
  • At one time or another, I have boycotted every supermarket in which I could afford to shop
  • If you mispronounce a word in my presence, I will not hear anything you say after that
  • I have dual nationality
  • I alphabetize CDs and DVDs; books are filed in size order
  • I cannot drink coffee, or kiss anyone who has it on their breath
  • I advocate organ donation as the ultimate form of recycling
  • I have a loud and irritating laugh
  • I have had my present phone about two years and I still cannot switch it on without help
  • I am shy and easily embarrassed (not unique but probably surprising to regular readers)
  • I don’t understand people who don’t vote
  • I am short with large feet, rather like a hobbit (I dress like one, too)
  • Stray apostrophes set my teeth on edge
  • I once had a one-act play staged at the Everyman Theatre in Liverpool
  • I like to trot that last one out at every opportunity
  • My definition of ‘unique, exciting, or just plain odd’ is surprisingly dull

 

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