Archive | 08:25

I Don’t Like My New Desk Any More

1 Feb
Roger's Hair Loss 1

Roger’s Hair Loss 1 (Photo credit: roger_mommaerts) I’m showing you this photo because it was suggested by Zemanta even though it has nothing to do with spiders.  You didn’t want to see a picture of a spider, did you?

This morning, I brought up my first cup of tea, settled down to read some blogs and answer comments, and I felt a tickle on my chin.  My hair is so long now, it is always bothering me; I go to bed in a plait.  That started the day after I woke up, choking, to find my hair entangled in my necklace.  I plaited it every night after that and it was about eighteen months later, when I was telling a friend who was admiring my crinkles how they came about, that the question was asked, ‘So why didn’t you just take off the necklace?’

Anyway, I brushed my hair away from my chin this morning and a big, fat spider jumped onto my laptop keyboard.  It ran underneath but by the time I’d tipped the laptop, the spider had disappeared.  

Now I have a spider living in my desk and/or bookshelf; using my stationery and waiting to jump out when I’ve got the hiccups.

I may never come in here again.

So long; it was nice knowing you.


Joke 680

1 Feb

Football Quotes

Thierry Henry's debut as a Red Bull

Thierry Henry’s debut as a Red Bull (Photo credit: Joscarfas)

  • ‘I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.’ Alan Shearer
  • ‘You’ve got to believe that you’ re going to win, and I believe we’ll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we’re knocked out.’ Peter Shilton
  • ‘I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.’ Ade Akinbiyi
  • ‘Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.’ Ian Wright
  • ‘I’m as happy as I can be – but I have been happier.’ Ugo Ehiogu
  • ‘Leeds is a great club and it’s been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough.’ Jonathan Woodgate
  • ‘The Brazilians were South American, the Ukrainians will be more European.’ Phil Neville
  • ‘All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.’ Mitchell Thomas
  • ‘One accusation you can’t throw at me is that I’ve always done my best.’ Alan Shearer
  • ‘I’ d rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.’ Johnny Giles
  • ‘Sometimes in football you have to score goals.’ Thierry Henry.
  • ‘I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.’ Les Ferdinand.
  • ‘It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked.’ Richard Rufus.
  • ‘There’s no in between – you’ re either good or bad. We were in between.’ Gary Lineker.
  • ‘If you don’t concede any goals you’ll win more games than you lose.’ Wayne Bridge.

From Will & Guy

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