Joke 686

7 Feb
Use colons correctly in headlines.

Use colons correctly in headlines. (Photo credit: alphalim)

Punctuation Parable

Dear John,

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy – will you let me be yours?

Gloria

*

Dear John,

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours,

Gloria

*

From villanova

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29 Responses to “Joke 686”

  1. Hudson Howl February 7, 2013 at 04:06 #

    Ouch

    Like

  2. slpmartin February 7, 2013 at 04:26 #

    Good one!

    Like

  3. Amba February 7, 2013 at 04:28 #

    Classic! Punctuation police on patrol ūüôā

    Like

  4. Maddie Cochere February 7, 2013 at 07:03 #

    Very funny! I was quickly reminded of, “I did not say he beats his wife.” ūüôā

    Like

    • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife February 7, 2013 at 16:40 #

      I don’t know that one. Do tell.

      Like

      • Maddie Cochere February 7, 2013 at 19:19 #

        It’s used by people teaching selling techniques. You are cautioned to be careful of playing emphasis on words and syllables.

        Put emphasis on just the word “I” in the sentences, and it implies someone else said he beats his wife.
        Emphasis on “not” means the word is out there, but didn’t come from me.
        Emphasis on “say” means I didn’t voice it aloud; but was implied.
        “He” – implies someone else beats her.
        “Beats” – means he may man-handle her a bit, but doesn’t beat her.
        “His” – he beats the wife of someone else.
        “Wife” – he doesn’t beat his wife, he beats others.

        It’s a terribly un-pc sentence to use, but it’s been out there for many, many years, and I still see it in books today.

        Like

        • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife February 10, 2013 at 22:00 #

          Oh, yes, I know this technique from writing; never heard of the saying, however. Thanks ūüôā

          Like

          • Maddie Cochere February 11, 2013 at 06:40 #

            I shouldn’t have responded in such a hurry. My response wasn’t very clear, and had errors. So glad you were familiar with the technique. ūüėČ

            Like

  5. vivinfrance February 7, 2013 at 08:31 #

    What a difference a dot makes.

    Like

  6. adeeyoyo February 7, 2013 at 08:38 #

    Great example, Tilly

    Like

  7. adinparadise February 7, 2013 at 14:38 #

    Love this. Very clever indeed. ūüėÄ

    Like

  8. mairedubhtx February 7, 2013 at 14:38 #

    Loved this.

    Like

  9. Pseu February 7, 2013 at 15:45 #

    vair clever.

    Like

  10. robincoyle February 7, 2013 at 16:04 #

    Brilliant. Did you write this?

    Like

  11. MargeKatherine February 7, 2013 at 16:22 #

    This is really a work of art – I read it and reread it several times. Just beautiful!!

    Like

  12. viveka February 7, 2013 at 16:33 #

    Brilliant … it’s all about the dots and where they go.

    Like

  13. sharechair February 8, 2013 at 01:28 #

    Love it !

    Like

  14. lanceleuven February 8, 2013 at 14:11 #

    That’s really clever!

    Like

  15. sarsm February 10, 2013 at 00:28 #

    Very clever!

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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