Joke 687

8 Feb

Time for some old groaners:

Funny Fish Cartoon

Funny Fish Cartoon (Photo credit: Mr. Daniel Ted Feliciano)

  • What did the sardine call the submarine?  A can of people
  • What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?  You can’t tuna fish
  • What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?  A beer-a-cuda
  • Where do fish parts come from?  Finland
  • Which fish dresses the best?  The Swordfish – it always looks sharp
  • What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?  Monkfish
  • What kind of fish will help you hear better?  A herring aid


    fish (Photo credit: mary hodder)

  • What do romantic fish sing to each other?  Salmon-chanted evening
  • What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can’t refuse?  The Codfather
  • Why is a swordfish’s nose 11 inches long?  If it were 12 inches long it would be a foot
  • Which fish can perform operations?  A Sturgeon
  • What’s a sea serpent’s favourite meal?  Fish and ships
  • Where do fish wash?  In a river basin
  • Why are fish so gullible?  They fall for things hook, line and sinker
  • Where do little fishes go every morning?  To plaice school
fish on the old Barbies

fish on the old Barbies (Photo credit: forkergirl)

From photosbykev

30 Responses to “Joke 687”

  1. SidevieW February 8, 2013 at 05:43 #

    Thank you, so now I’m wandering around making up new words to Salmonenchnted evening.


  2. rebecca2000 February 8, 2013 at 05:43 #

    LOL my son would love these.


  3. sonofwalt February 8, 2013 at 05:49 #

    This has to be said out loud. The pun doesn’t work on paper, and you use lots of shhhhh at the end. People love to groan about it:
    “What do you call a fish without an eye?”
    “Fsh” (pronounced “ffshhhh”


  4. siggiofmaine February 8, 2013 at 05:54 #

    I Love these….one by one, joke by joke, my people will suffer from this post !
    Thank you !


  5. My Tropical Home February 8, 2013 at 06:23 #

    I needed this today, badly! Thanks for these…


  6. vivinfrance February 8, 2013 at 07:21 #



  7. Marion Driessen February 8, 2013 at 09:25 #

    That cartoon is hilarious, oh hahaha.


  8. viewsplash February 8, 2013 at 12:03 #

    Reblogged this on Views Splash! and commented:
    I think a great series of witty questions… am reblogging pls!


  9. vivinfrance February 8, 2013 at 12:04 #

    Why has your blog gone suddenlyvery small? How do I make it bigger?


  10. mairedubhtx February 8, 2013 at 14:14 #

    Was this prompted by your post about Hub’s deceased baby fish?


  11. sharechair February 8, 2013 at 14:15 #

    Something’s fishy….


  12. slpmartin February 8, 2013 at 16:28 #

    Always nice to have something sweet with my morning coffee.


  13. robincoyle February 8, 2013 at 16:34 #

    Fish on the Barbies . . . hahahahahaha


  14. viveka February 8, 2013 at 18:19 #

    I saw on the news that we Swedes are giving you Britt’s horsemeat instead of beef – my favorite frozen vegetable manufacture – Findus, that now is an UK company since a couple of years ago. I would eat both burgers and lasagne with horse meat, but it shouldn’t be stated as beef. Bad news travels fast and funny news very slow .. *smile .. blame us, the Swedes.

    Your fishy business are even more funny *smile My favorite – What did the sardine call the submarine? A can of people


    • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife February 10, 2013 at 21:39 #

      Don’t worry – it was the Romanians, via the Luxembourgians (what are they called?).


      • viveka February 11, 2013 at 08:33 #

        Today I read that it was the French .. *smile and Findus are taking them to court. Because Findus are in trouble over here for the same thing.


  15. Grannymar February 8, 2013 at 20:08 #

    Salmon-chanted evening…. I’ll be singing this all evening.

    PS Thanks for the email, I’m saving it for later this evening.


  16. Janet Williams February 8, 2013 at 23:43 #

    Tilly screamed, “me, me, me!”

    This’s the best collage I’ve ever seen in my life.

    Perhaps it’s near Valentine’s day.

    Have a lovely weekend!


  17. Pseu February 13, 2013 at 21:07 #

    Did you hear the one about the sick squid?


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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