Don’t Mess With The Sick Girl

2013_01_160002 we are second tired of these people (Photo credit: Gwydion M. Williams) Nothing to do with being ill but funny so I had to share it

As you may have noticed – and if you didn’t, leave me a compliment to make up for it – and if you do that, I’ll know you really don’t pay attention – I haven’t blogged for two days (jokes don’t count).  I’ve been sick.

The last time I spent more than one day in bed, another person came out of me (Spud: Let’s hope THAT doesn’t happen).  His nasty germ transmitted itself to me because, when Spud got sick, he told his father he must stay away; but that I had to look after him (Spud).  Being a mother, I did; and he repaid the love by infecting me.

How he wishes he hadn’t.

According to the Hub, I am a terrible sick person.  I am grouchy and mean and pathetic.  ‘Imagine your mood if you were permanently hungry,’ is how he put it.

Don’t make me hungry; you wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry.  

The Hub has now started with the same symptoms, so Spud ignoring him for days obviously didn’t work.  The Hub’s M.E. always aggravates whatever he gets so that he gets it worse than the rest of us put together.  

Day One: The Hub reckons he feels so bad, he could be in a Findus pie.

Joke 694

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. 

He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trashcan they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, “You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.” The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans.

After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. 

“This recession’s really putting a big dent in my income,” he told them. “From now on, I’ll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans.”

The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they did accept his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street.

“Look,” he said, “I haven’t received my Social Security check yet, so I’m not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?” 

“A lousy quarter?” the drum leader exclaimed. “If you think we’re going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you’re nuts! No way, mister. We quit!” 

And the old man enjoyed peace.

From ajokeaday.com