Joke 695

16 Feb
funny-quote-01

funny-quote-01 (Photo credit: Dancing Lemur)

Quote…Unquote

  • Never judge a book by its movie.   JW Eagan
  • Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it. Cullen Hightower
  • If you haven’t found something strange during the day, it hasn’t been much of a day. John A. Wheeler
  • She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.  Groucho Marx
  • My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.  Rodney Dangerfield
  • Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.  Sue Murphy
  • Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.  Doug Larson
  • Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.  Ernest Benn
  • Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.  Andy Rooney
  • The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.  Alfred Hitchcock
  • The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.  Ronald Reagan
  • There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.  Will Rogers
  • funny-quote-02

    funny-quote-02 (Photo credit: Dancing Lemur)

    The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.  Hunter S. Thompson

From Will & Guy

Advertisements

10 Responses to “Joke 695”

  1. slpmartin February 16, 2013 at 04:14 #

    Oh there are some very good ones in this list.

    Like

  2. SidevieW February 16, 2013 at 06:19 #

    There is too much truth in some of tgese. Please block them out with maltesers.

    Like

    • vivinfrance February 16, 2013 at 08:41 #

      A succession of gems (a necklace?) . My favourite: “Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

      Like

      • SidevieW February 16, 2013 at 09:22 #

        One of those that needs hiding, just too real for words!

        Like

  3. Grannymar February 16, 2013 at 14:08 #

    I’m all for changing the locks!

    Like

  4. mairedubhtx February 16, 2013 at 14:10 #

    I really liked “Never judge a book by its movie.”

    Like

  5. Katharine Trauger February 16, 2013 at 19:11 #

    Totally hilarious. Hubs likes the Hitchcock the best. Thanks for a decent laugh!!! 😆

    Like

  6. viveka February 16, 2013 at 19:55 #

    Great … and funny. Looking forward to the film about Alfred Hitchcock by the way – great actors, Hopkins and Mirren.
    My favorite: Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. Doug Larson

    Like

  7. lanceleuven February 18, 2013 at 13:08 #

    “Never judge a book by its movie.” That is brillaint!

    Like

  8. siggiofmaine February 24, 2013 at 04:21 #

    You’d think when one was depressed the first thing they’d look at is the jokes you send… sorry… you can see I’m catching up…and this one is a winner in my book ! Thanks.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: