Joke 698

On Dogs

Funny Dog Sign (Photo credit: Wyoming_Jackrabbit)

• The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue – Anonymous
• Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful – Ann Landers
• There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face – Ben Williams
• A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself – Josh Billings
• The average dog is a nicer person than the average person – Andy Rooney
• We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made – M. Acklam
• I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult – Rita Rudner  
• A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down – Robert Benchley
• Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog – Franklin P. Jones
• If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons – James Thurber
• If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise – Anonymous
• If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them – Phil Pastoret
• Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul: chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth – Anne Tyler

From Will & Guy