Joke 698

19 Feb

On Dogs

Funny Dog Sign

Funny Dog Sign (Photo credit: Wyoming_Jackrabbit)

  • The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue – Anonymous
  • Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful – Ann Landers
  • There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face – Ben Williams
  • A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself – Josh Billings
  • The average dog is a nicer person than the average person – Andy Rooney
  • We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made – M. Acklam
  • I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult – Rita Rudner  
  • A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down – Robert Benchley
  • Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog – Franklin P. Jones
  • If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons – James Thurber
  • If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise – Anonymous
  • If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them – Phil Pastoret
  • Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul: chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth – Anne Tyler

From Will & Guy

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14 Responses to “Joke 698”

  1. terry1954 February 19, 2013 at 04:07 #

    those are so cute

    Like

  2. slpmartin February 19, 2013 at 04:30 #

    Although I no longer have a dog…I can relate to these…very cute.

    Like

  3. vivinf rance February 19, 2013 at 08:26 #

    I love these. they brought back happy memories of my loving dogs.

    Like

  4. bevchen February 19, 2013 at 08:45 #

    I LOVE these!! Especially the last one. And the one with the poodles.

    Do you know the one about the bilingual dog?

    Like

  5. viveka February 19, 2013 at 12:08 #

    “If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise” – love it … great stuff this morning. *smile

    Like

  6. sharechair February 19, 2013 at 13:59 #

    “three biscuits in your pocket” … that’s the truth! I forgot once that I had a treat in my pocket and I was befuddled when my Yorkie was pawing and climbing and whining at me instead of curling up in my lap. She knew!

    Like

  7. mairedubhtx February 19, 2013 at 14:34 #

    I often think that my dogs are better persons than I am.

    Like

  8. Grannymar February 19, 2013 at 18:18 #

    If you say “Stop barking!2 to any barking dog, it will do so, enen when it does not understand English!

    Like

  9. robincoyle February 19, 2013 at 18:20 #

    Love the jokes but especially love the sign written in “dog.”

    Like

  10. vastlycurious.com February 20, 2013 at 01:25 #

    WOOF !! 🐾

    Like

  11. lanceleuven February 20, 2013 at 14:17 #

    There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face – Ben Williams

    That’s so true. No psychiatrist I’ve ever been to was very good at licking faces. To be honest I always found it a bit creepy.

    Like

  12. siggiofmaine February 24, 2013 at 05:35 #

    Love these…will share with a smile.
    Peace,
    Siggi

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Windy dog | iwantmarbles - February 27, 2013

    […] Joke 698 (thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com) […]

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  2. It’s All About Attitude | FunPhotoLolz - April 3, 2013

    […] Joke 698 […]

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I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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