Joke 699

20 Feb
Tesco Shelves

Tesco Shelves (Photo credit: Andwar)

Thanks to KiwiDutch for these topical jokes.

  • My doctor told me to watch what I eat, so I bought some tickets to the Grand National.
  • Tesco Quarter Pounders: The affordable way to buy your daughter the pony that she’s always wanted!
  • Had some burgers from Tesco for my tea last night…I still have a bit between my teeth.
  • I’ve just checked the Tesco burgers in my freezer…AND THEY’RE OFF.

 

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14 Responses to “Joke 699”

  1. vivinfrance February 20, 2013 at 10:27 #

    Absobloominglutely brilliant!

    Like

  2. Elaine - I used to be indecisive February 20, 2013 at 13:10 #

    These are very funny! 😀

    Like

  3. viveka February 20, 2013 at 13:15 #

    Top one … brilliant !!!!! So funny …

    Like

  4. bevchen February 20, 2013 at 13:25 #

    Hahaha, these are the best jokes yet 😀

    Like

  5. lanceleuven February 20, 2013 at 13:53 #

    Excellent! I’ve been suprised how few jokes I’ve heard along these lines, so glad you filled the gap! 🙂

    (Although last weekend a friend offered to make us dinner. When I jokingly asked if there was any offer horse on offer they replied “I’m sure I can Findus something”)

    Like

  6. mairedubhtx February 20, 2013 at 15:25 #

    Oh, these are sooooo sick!

    Like

  7. slpmartin February 20, 2013 at 18:01 #

    Rather cute jokes.

    Like

  8. robincoyle February 21, 2013 at 00:50 #

    I’ll never forget when I saw horse meat in a French grocery store meat counter. Giddyup!~

    Like

  9. bluebee February 21, 2013 at 03:04 #

    Hilarious 🙂

    Like

  10. Kay's Musings February 21, 2013 at 07:26 #

    Oh dear! I had to look up Tesco. 🙂

    Like

  11. sanstorm February 21, 2013 at 17:11 #

    I like the ‘watch what you eat’ one.
    😆

    Like

  12. Grannymar February 23, 2013 at 03:08 #

    Main course Horseburger with warbler salad on the side!

    Like

  13. Perfecting Motherhood February 23, 2013 at 07:47 #

    They’re so bad, they’re good. Er, the jokes, not the horse burgers.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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