- Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
- Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’
- I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
- A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You need a parachute only to skydive twice.
- There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
- You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
- Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
Joke 703
24 Feb20 Responses to “Joke 703”
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August 28, 2014
[…] Joke 703 […]
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these are absolutely the best!!!!!
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I particularly like 15!
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Lottsa good ones … thanks ☺
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Number Five! 🙂
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These are all fabulous – your best ever! Especially number 8 – and number 3 made me laugh longest!
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Not my best ever; I’m just the messenger 🙂
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Wonderful, Tilly, and so true! You’re obviously feeling more like yourself.
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If you mean able to say yes to a better joke, then I am 🙂
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These were oh so very true that some were not so funny.
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Good ones. I especially like the bald-headed guy with a beer gut looking sexy bit. Why I don’t go to high school reunions. Dianne
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That one was my favourite 🙂
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Really enjoyed these…a number had a strong element of truth to them…which of course adds to the humor…have a great week.
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Only one word; Outstanding. !!!! Love everything one of them. 12. You’re never too old to learn something stupid, my clear favorite.
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my conscience is crystal clear, or is that foggy?
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I was nodding my head at No 14. I never get a return for my money, so gave up using them years ago.
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Number 14. So true.
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‘Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.’
This is very true. And i can say that with the confidence of personal experience. Because it’s something that I’ve done to others on many occasions. 🙂
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😀
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I believe Mark Twain is the one who said the first quote. It’s one of my favorite.
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