Joke 705

26 Feb

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk

Kitteh drunk on non-alcoholic beer.

Kitteh drunk on non-alcoholic beer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you’re drunk

a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you’ re drunk

a) Thanks, but I don’t want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight?
f) I’m not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn’t – no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have zero co-ordination.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

From Will & Guy.

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11 Responses to “Joke 705”

  1. slpmartin February 26, 2013 at 04:35 #

    What a funny list….really enjoyed these.

    Like

  2. jmgoyder February 26, 2013 at 06:01 #

    I can say all of these things when I’m drunk – ha!

    Like

  3. vivinfrance February 26, 2013 at 08:01 #

    I wouldn’t know.. .. Love the drunk kitten.

    Like

  4. Elaine - I used to be indecisive February 26, 2013 at 12:56 #

    Some of those last ones made me laugh out loud! 😀

    Like

  5. mairedubhtx February 26, 2013 at 15:36 #

    Oh, how very true these are!

    Like

  6. Katharine Trauger February 26, 2013 at 15:38 #

    Very sobering. Thanks!

    Like

  7. SchmidleysScribbling February 26, 2013 at 16:02 #

    I’ve never been drunk in my life, only tipsy once when I lived in Hawaii. But, I have uttered many of those words and phrases from time to time. Hopefully, the other party got the message, but not always. David is completely sober now, but some days, I still can understand him. Dianne

    Like

  8. terry1954 February 26, 2013 at 20:43 #

    Geesh, I can barely say them sober!!!! LOL

    Like

  9. Janie Jones February 27, 2013 at 13:43 #

    I’ve never been drunk so I’ll have to take your word for it, or rather I suppose, Will & Guy’s.

    Like

  10. bluebee March 2, 2013 at 06:19 #

    I can’t say “patented”, drunk or sober

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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