Joke 708

1 Mar
Funny Sign

Funny Sign (Photo credit: mrapplegate)

Quote…Unquote

  • Visitors to Longforth Road public toilets might be interested to know they are now being powered by wind.  (Wellington Weekly News)

    Funny Sign

    Funny Sign (Photo credit: TheYoYoMaN)

  • June 10-16: Open Bowels Tournament Teignmouth. (Events Leaflet for South Devon)
  • If Tesco, BHS, ASDA and others can supervise toilets effectively, it’s time our council got to the bottom of the matter. (Wrexham Leader)

This next one isn’t toilet related but it did prompt me to suggest to the Hub that, if he still wanted a daughter, we could always buy one, if he didn’t mind secondhand children:

  • Nearly New Baby Sale (Poster on an Altrincham roundabout)
Funny Sign

Funny Sign (Photo credit: jamacdonald)

And finally…

A priest ran out of petrol on his way home.   Fortunately, the village garage was only about half a mile away.  Amazingly, the garage did not have any petrol containers.  The priest pleaded that the garage owner must have a container that would hold half a gallon of petrol.  After much searching the proprietor came up with a chamber pot.  Although it was not strictly legal, they filled the chamber pot with petrol and the priest set off happily back to his car.

Just as the priest was decanting the petrol from the chamber pot into his tank a lorry driver stopped, wound down his window and said, ‘Father, I have heard of the miracle of changing water into wine, but I think you’re pushing your luck this time.’

Funny Signs or Pictures 09

Funny Signs or Pictures 09 (Photo credit: DrJohnBullas)

First quotes and joke from Will & Guy.

Funny Signs or Pictures 07

Funny Signs or Pictures 07 (Photo credit: DrJohnBullas)

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19 Responses to “Joke 708”

  1. siggiofmaine March 1, 2013 at 04:11 #

    A+ my dear, thank you ☺
    Peace

    Like

  2. terry1954 March 1, 2013 at 04:11 #

    you find the funniest things!!!!!!

    Like

  3. Katharine Trauger March 1, 2013 at 05:00 #

    Pretty good! Whatever happened to your book?!

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife March 1, 2013 at 09:07 #

      Which one?

      The Book of Pooetry had been forgotten over two nasty bugs, visitors and Christmas. The SA collection is complete and being submitted.

      Thanks for the reminder about the first one!

      Like

  4. benzeknees March 1, 2013 at 05:34 #

    Loved these! Especially the one to men “it’s shorter than you think.” Men are so deluded sometimes, by the way they aim.

    Like

  5. bevchen March 1, 2013 at 08:44 #

    “It’s shorter than you think” 😀

    Men in Germany are taught to pee sitting down!! Some people even have signs in their bathrooms with a crossed out picture of a man peeing standing up…. and they don’t mean it as a joke!! One more aspect of German behaviour that I will NEVER understand. It may make less mess, but I just can’t get my head around it. Men are supposed to pee standing up!

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife March 1, 2013 at 09:04 #

      But I bet you never accidentally sit on a cold toilet bowl because the seat’s been left up…

      Like

  6. countingducks March 1, 2013 at 12:57 #

    I love the way lorry drivers often find something witty to say

    Like

  7. adinparadise March 1, 2013 at 13:21 #

    😆 Love the first one.

    Like

  8. lanceleuven March 1, 2013 at 13:31 #

    Although I found this collection of jokes very satisfying, I’m afraid that I have to feign dissatisfaction. Please don’t take that personally. I simply want my monkey back.

    Like

  9. slpmartin March 1, 2013 at 16:43 #

    Oh the petrol joke really made me laugh…thanks for the Friday smiles.

    Like

  10. Pseu March 1, 2013 at 16:50 #

    Nice scatological post.

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign – slimegreen - March 10, 2013

    […] Joke 708 (thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com) […]

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I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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