Dinner With My Text

6 Mar
Tilly

Tilly (Photo credit: Digitalorthodoxy) Not a picture of me but isn’t she cute?

Write about what you did last weekend as though you’re a music critic reviewing a new album.

Tilly Bud has been silent for three weeks but on Sunday she finally went back to church.

How we wish she hadn’t.  She still has real pitch issues and half way through ‘Nearer My God To Thee,’ she nearly was because the congregation couldn’t take much more.  Fortunately, the inspired coughing fit from an under-used voice box that livened up the second chorus saved the day.

We waited almost a month for Tilly’s reappearance, which begs the question: why?  It’s Bye-bye! not Buy!  Buy!

*

Describe the most satisfying meal you’ve ever eaten in glorious detail. 

I don’t think I’ve eaten in that restaurant.

I would never patronise an establishment that uses only lower case letters in its name.

*

If you could un-invent something, what would it be? Discuss why, potential repercussions, or a possible alternative.

telephone

telephone (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

Text speak.

Why?  If you don’t know, you must be a teenager.

Potential repercussions – my boys would never talk to me again. By mouth or phone.

Possible alternative – the actual words.

I’m guilty of cunctation in answering this prompt because I suspect I’m in a minority.  I don’t believe in the purity of language – it lives and grows and changes and that’s fine; but I don’t want to witness the return of near-illiteracy.   A balance must be struck: evrtng n moderation.

*

Write an ode to someone or something you love. Bonus points for poetry!

Double bonus points for adding a tune?

Sing this to I Like Big Butts by Sir Mix-A-Lot.  Don’t look up the actual lyrics because this is a family blog.

I love real words and I cannot lie!
You other bloggers can’t deny
When a kid sends you an itty-bitty text
You wanna throw it in his face
You get rung
Wanna get real tough
Cuz you can’t tell him to get stuffed
In text speak into the jeans he’s wearing
I’m cross and I can’t stop swearing
Oh my boy I wanna throttle that
Fone you always carry
My husband tried 2 warn me
dat dat fone U got
mAk me so angry
U sA U wanna git n my hands
I won’t buy U cuz I ain’t yor avg nd usr

 *

I found a great site for those of you who would like to be able to understand the texts your children and grandchildren send to you: Transl8it!  

*

Well-spotted, those of you who identified ‘bleb’ as yesterday’s word.  

It is a small blister, rather like me on a rant.

 

 

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25 Responses to “Dinner With My Text”

  1. laurieanichols March 6, 2013 at 15:13 #

    I like your lyrics far better than the original ones!

    Like

  2. mairedubhtx March 6, 2013 at 15:15 #

    I always trouble deciphering my granddaughter Jackie’s texts. Cassie tends to use English with me but Jackie doesn’t and it’s rather difficult sometimes. Your site will come in handy, I think. Loved the rap, BTW.

    Like

  3. sanstorm March 6, 2013 at 15:19 #

    BTW IMOH TLH TB: ROLF

    Like

  4. Rorybore March 6, 2013 at 15:26 #

    I so git U. U R so fune. TTFN. 🙂

    Like

  5. McGuffyAnn March 6, 2013 at 16:41 #

    You are truly gifted. We are very blessed by you & your gift.

    Like

  6. slpmartin March 6, 2013 at 16:59 #

    Once again I seem to have not kept up with the musical trends…it would appear that has been to my advantage…enjoyed your post.

    Like

  7. vivinfrance March 6, 2013 at 17:34 #

    On the whole, I prefer folk who don’t procrastinate – get it done at once and the fretting is over.

    Yuk for textspeak except for the ones from my era like ASAP and BTW and IMHO – that’s what we should stick to… But I do like a good neologism.

    Like

  8. terry1954 March 6, 2013 at 18:08 #

    would you believe from my illness through most of January I still have a lingering cough?

    Like

  9. Elaine - I used to be indecisive March 6, 2013 at 18:45 #

    Ooh, the meaning of today’s new word is one I know well. I am quite good at procrastinating!
    Txt spk? I h8 it!

    Like

  10. benzeknees March 6, 2013 at 19:35 #

    Cunctation? I need that site for translation. My daughter moved back to Wpg. when she & her husband split last July & she moved in with her dad temporarily. Her cell phone is only for work – no long distance, so if I want to talk to her I have to call my ex-husband (which is such a treat). She suggests texts – I cannot even figure out my new phone much less text!

    Like

  11. Tom (Aquatom1968) March 6, 2013 at 21:40 #

    I hesitated to post a comment to this post, Tilly, as I was going to do it all in text speak, and then decided against it…I hope I’ve picked up on today’s word correctly?

    Like

  12. kateshrewsday March 6, 2013 at 23:09 #

    Yay! Go, Tilly! Excellent post with which I couldn’t agree more!

    Like

  13. jmgoyder March 7, 2013 at 04:38 #

    You are definitely a one-off! Love this!

    Like

  14. typewriterpoet March 7, 2013 at 06:23 #

    Betcha my pitch issues trump yours I can clear a church in 3 notes! = )

    Like

  15. Forever Bound Art March 7, 2013 at 15:37 #

    Awww, good ol’ early 90’s rap. See, it’s timeless. Just like the Beatles 🙂
    Not really, but I grew up with that fun!

    Like

  16. graypoet March 7, 2013 at 15:50 #

    Just found your blog referenced off another I follow, so the cunctation was not intentional. I look forward to finding more gems here.

    Like

  17. robincoyle March 7, 2013 at 23:36 #

    I love the restaurant glorious detail! I’ve eaten there many times. You really must try their chicken sauteed, grilled, boiled, baked, and braised in wine, butter, capers, mushrooms, heavy cream with a side of mashed potatoes laced with chives, onions, leeks, jalapeno peppers and olives. For dessert, try the chocolate, caramel, vanilla, strawberry, peach, pecan tort. What is that you say? Too much glorious detail?

    Like

  18. Perfecting Motherhood March 13, 2013 at 02:26 #

    Haha, my kids and I sing the “I like big butts” with new lyrics all the time!

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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