Joke 713

6 Mar
Viv decided to test my claim that you can find jokes about anything on the internet and asked me to find jokes about the word orange.
Apologies for the weird formatting – I gave up after an hour.
We’ll start with one my kids used t0 tell when they were small – it was the first joke that came up:
 
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
 
Next comes one that took me a moment because of the foreign currency:
A woman was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, “How much are these oranges?”
“Two for a quarter,” answered the vendor.
“How much is just one?” she asked.
“Fifteen cents,” answered the vendor.
“I’ll take the other one,” said the woman.
Now for some bad ones, followed by some really bad ones:
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
It ran out of juice.
 
Why was the guy fired from the orange juice factory?
He couldn’t concentrate.
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
Look round. 
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you even going to open the door?

What did the chick say when his mother produced a citrus fruit instead of an egg?

Look at the orange mama laid.

What did the apple say to the orange?

Nothing.  Apples don’t talk.

 

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

 

And last but not least…the cartoon strip called Rhymes With Orange:

Sources:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081211122959AAApGd8

http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/foodjokes/orangejokes.html

http://www.jokes.com/funny-animal-jokes/mlf3vi/whats-orange-and-sounds-like-a-parrot-

 

 

 

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33 Responses to “Joke 713”

  1. slpmartin March 6, 2013 at 04:15 #

    So do we get to vote if you or Viv won the challenge? 🙂

    Like

  2. Rorybore March 6, 2013 at 04:27 #

    this right here is why a case can be made that the Internet is actually a better invention than sliced bread.

    Like

  3. terry1954 March 6, 2013 at 04:42 #

    you outdid yourself with great jokes tonight. good job!!!!!

    Like

  4. jmgoyder March 6, 2013 at 08:11 #

    Well that was different!

    Like

  5. vivinfrance March 6, 2013 at 08:54 #

    Kamarad You win, and the prize is? Lunch in Carlisle, this time next week. Yippeee,

    Like

  6. bevchen March 6, 2013 at 08:58 #

    Love the first cartoon!

    I used to tell that first joke when I was about 6. I thought I was hilarious.

    Like

  7. benzeknees March 6, 2013 at 09:09 #

    Hahahahahaha, orange you glad Viv asked you to look up jokes about oranges?

    Like

  8. Katharine Trauger March 6, 2013 at 11:55 #

    Who’d have thought some of these are pretty funny!

    Great idea, Viv! You got me wondering . . . 😉

    Like

  9. sanstorm March 6, 2013 at 12:59 #

    An orange walks into a bar and orders a juice.
    The barman says “Are you taking the pith?”

    Like

  10. mairedubhtx March 6, 2013 at 14:52 #

    Loved the orange jokes, even though I’d heard some of the knock-knock ones before when I was a kid. They were good ones.

    Like

  11. WomanBitesDog March 6, 2013 at 20:13 #

    I wrote a gag about an orange. But you need the cartoon to go with it! Victorian boy says to dad: when I said I wanted an orange for Christmas I meant a mobile phone.

    Like

  12. robincoyle March 6, 2013 at 23:30 #

    Orange mama laid. Really, Tess? Must you stoop so low?

    Like

  13. robincoyle March 6, 2013 at 23:31 #

    Oops! Tilly, not Tess!

    Like

  14. typewriterpoet March 7, 2013 at 06:31 #

    That’s a lot of work for oranges but very cute.

    Like

  15. Musings March 7, 2013 at 08:06 #

    Yup… some were pretty bad, but they all made me smile and laugh.

    Like

  16. adinparadise March 7, 2013 at 13:39 #

    You missed this one:

    There were an orange and a carrot walking down the street and they were best friends. Out of nowhere a car came and hit the carrot, so the orange rushed him to the hospital. Eventually the doctor came into the waiting room and he told the orange, “I’ve got good news and bad news.” The orange asked for the good news first, and so the doctor replied, “Well your friend is going to live, but he’s going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life!”

    Like

  17. Grannymar March 12, 2013 at 09:02 #

    This took me waaaaay back to the knock Knock days of yore.

    Like

  18. SidevieW May 4, 2013 at 11:33 #

    Lol, nothing rhymes with orange so the carrot one is wonderful

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Feline fun | Cathy @ Still Waters - March 12, 2013

    […] on from that, I saw the funniest cat cartoon last week Tilly had this on her blog post Joke 713 the source is Rymes with […]

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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