Joke 714

7 Mar

Recently, I was diagnosed with AAADD – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

An animated cartoon of a person table wrestling

An animated cartoon of a person table wrestling (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.  I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full.  I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.  I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of coke that I had been drinking.

Age Gets Better With Wine

Age Gets Better With Wine (Photo credit: Jill Clardy)

I’m going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: they need to be watered.  I place the coke down on the work surface, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.  I decide I’d better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone has left it on the kitchen table.  I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall, trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
* The car isn’t washed
* The bills aren’t paid
* There is a warm can of coke sitting on the work surface
* The flowers don’t have enough water
* There is still only one cheque in my cheque book
* I can’t find the remote
* I can’t find my glasses and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired. I realise this is a serious problem, and I decide I’ll search online to see if I can get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

I just remembered: I left the water running.

*

*

From Will & Guy

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10 Responses to “Joke 714”

  1. terry1954 March 7, 2013 at 04:39 #

    I have heard this before

    Like

    • vivinfrance March 7, 2013 at 07:37 #

      So have I but there is a grain of truth in it, darn it.

      Like

  2. Musings March 7, 2013 at 08:03 #

    Too too scary! This sounds like ME!

    Like

  3. benzeknees March 7, 2013 at 09:33 #

    I’ve seen this before but it gets a good belly laugh from me every time!

    Like

  4. adinparadise March 7, 2013 at 13:35 #

    Bwahahaha…. I haven’t heard this before. 🙂

    Like

  5. mairedubhtx March 7, 2013 at 15:00 #

    This sounds exactly like me and my day.

    Like

  6. robincoyle March 7, 2013 at 20:41 #

    Have you been following me around and recording my every movement?

    Like

  7. ladyinredagain March 9, 2013 at 17:54 #

    I have been doing this for years I call it my butterfly mind

    Like

  8. Grannymar March 12, 2013 at 09:08 #

    I do not need reminders that this is my life nowadays. 😦

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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