Joke 722

15 Mar
  • A will is a dead giveaway.

    Hand banana in all his glory

    Hand banana in all his glory (Photo credit: Sappymoosetree)

  • Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
  • When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
  • You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
  • The calendar’s days are numbered.
  • The boiled egg is hard to beat.
  • He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
  • Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
  • When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
  • If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
  • Acupuncture: a jab well done.
  • I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  • She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
  • A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
  • A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Thanks to my friend Pam for forwarding this email doing the rounds.

12 Responses to “Joke 722”

  1. Jay March 15, 2013 at 04:18 #

    So absorbing to read


  2. terry1954 March 15, 2013 at 04:25 #

    really enjoyed this!


  3. Katharine Trauger March 15, 2013 at 05:45 #

    Thanks for a great laugh. Had to make a potty run! 🙂


  4. bevchen March 15, 2013 at 08:41 #

    Brilliant! I like these ones best:
    “A backward poet writes inverse”
    “No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery”


  5. mairedubhtx March 15, 2013 at 13:25 #

    I love puns.


  6. lanceleuven March 15, 2013 at 13:36 #

    ‘Hand banana in all his glory’

    Umm…what!? What is that thing!


  7. SchmidleysScribbling March 15, 2013 at 14:26 #

    good ones. but I am still trying to figure out the one about the clock eating its seconds. I will probably figure it out eventually. Dianne


  8. viveka March 15, 2013 at 16:48 #

    Very good … my favorite; He had a photographic memory which was never developed.- have met a couple of them – have great weekend now … the whole breakfast family.


  9. vivinfrance March 15, 2013 at 22:13 #

    Some real crackers here. I love ’em.


  10. robincoyle March 15, 2013 at 23:17 #

    Gawd, i love puns.


  11. Grannymar March 17, 2013 at 13:27 #

    Very punny! I must remember: “No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery”!


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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