Joke 731

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.  The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a

Loud Yelling Please (Photo credit: Enokson)

human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah’.

The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’

The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him’.

*

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.  As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’

The teacher paused and said, ‘But no one knows what God looks like.’

The  girl replied, ‘They will in a minute.’

*

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.  After explaining the commandment to ‘honour thy Father and thy Mother’ she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’

One little boy answered, ‘Thou shall not kill.’

*

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast with her brunette hair.  She asked, ‘Why are some of
your hairs white, Mum?’

Her mother replied, ‘Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.’

The little girl thought about this for a while and then said, ‘How come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?’

*

Phila. Teachers on Capitol Steps, Wash., D.C., 5/13/11 (LOC) (Photo credit: The Library of Congress)

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.  ‘Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, ‘And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.’

*
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a parochial elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.  The aide made a note, and posted it on the apple tray:

Take only ONE…God is watching.

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.  A child had written a note:

Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

 

Thanks to Katharine Trauger at Home’s Cool! for these.