Joke 732

25 Mar

Because you seemed to enjoy yesterday’s jokes so much, I found some more.

Sign in front of church

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

Annie replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

*

An inexperienced preacher was to hold a graveside burial service at a pauper’s cemetery for an indigent man with no family or friends. Not knowing where the cemetery was, he made several wrong turns and got lost. When he eventually arrived an hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, the backhoe was next to the open hole, and the workmen were sitting under a tree eating lunch.

The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.

As he returned to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say to the other, “I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain’t never seen anything like that before!”

Cartoon by Ron Stanfield - http://home.earthlink.net/~ronstanfield

At Sunday School they were learning how God created everything, including human beings. Johnny was especially intent when the teacher told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny, what is the matter?”

Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

*

It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with his mother. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Johnny asked them what they were for.

“People held them over Jesus’ head as he walked by,” his father told him.

“Wouldn’t you know it,” Johnny fumed, “the one Sunday I don’t go and he shows up.”

*

Cartoons and jokes from swapmeetdave.

 

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13 Responses to “Joke 732”

  1. terry1954 March 25, 2013 at 04:06 #

    more good ones!!!!

    Like

  2. graypoet March 25, 2013 at 04:07 #

    Reblogged this on Gray Poet and commented:
    Some new, some old, but still made me laugh. Love kids, guess I’m still one at heart.

    Like

  3. siggiofmaine March 25, 2013 at 04:20 #

    Winners ! We’ve got WINNERS here ! No sighs.☺ Just smiles.☺
    Peace
    Siggi

    Like

  4. Katharine Trauger March 25, 2013 at 04:33 #

    Yeh. That’s cute. I had one today tell me he never sinned. His sister told a different story, though.

    Like

  5. Grannymar March 25, 2013 at 08:32 #

    Very good. Next time I have telemarketers call, I’ll invite them to join me in the roasry!

    Like

  6. sanstorm March 25, 2013 at 11:51 #

    Once in our church they had projected onto the screen
    a picture of a happy couple, belonging to the congregation, on their wedding day – with the caption “They did it!”

    Like

  7. sharechair March 25, 2013 at 14:33 #

    I laughed at ever one of these!! (especially ‘people are sleeping’) 🙂

    Like

  8. slpmartin March 25, 2013 at 14:56 #

    Oh I do like this serious of jokes…nice way to start my week.

    Like

  9. adinparadise March 25, 2013 at 19:49 #

    Thanks for the laughs. That first poster is priceless. 🙂

    Like

  10. viveka March 25, 2013 at 21:16 #

    Thanks for those ones …. first and last, my favorite … good work, Linda.

    Like

  11. robincoyle March 25, 2013 at 23:39 #

    Love the minister praying over the septic tank.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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