Joke 732

Because you seemed to enjoy yesterday’s jokes so much, I found some more.

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

Annie replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

*

An inexperienced preacher was to hold a graveside burial service at a pauper’s cemetery for an indigent man with no family or friends. Not knowing where the cemetery was, he made several wrong turns and got lost. When he eventually arrived an hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, the backhoe was next to the open hole, and the workmen were sitting under a tree eating lunch.

The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.

As he returned to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say to the other, “I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain’t never seen anything like that before!”

At Sunday School they were learning how God created everything, including human beings. Johnny was especially intent when the teacher told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny, what is the matter?”

Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

*

It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with his mother. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Johnny asked them what they were for.

“People held them over Jesus’ head as he walked by,” his father told him.

“Wouldn’t you know it,” Johnny fumed, “the one Sunday I don’t go and he shows up.”

*

Cartoons and jokes from swapmeetdave.