Joke 733

26 Mar
Platnik Fishing Cartoon Playing Cards

Platnik Fishing Cartoon Playing Cards (Photo credit: andertoons)

Ten common fishing expressions explained

1) Catch and Release: This is a conservation term that happens right before the local Fish and Game Protection Officer stops your boat when you have caught over the limit.

2) Hook: (i) A small curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (ii) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (iii) The punch administered by the fisherman’s wife after he spends their life savings [see also, right hook, left hook].

3) Line: Something you give your colleagues when they ask on Monday how your fishing went over the weekend.

4) Lure: An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

5) Reel: A weighty object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

6) Rod: An attractively painted length of fibreglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

7) School: A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your £15.99 [$USD30] lures and hold out for bread instead.

8) Tackle: What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

9) Tackle Box: A box shaped amazingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a plaster [band aid], you find that you need more than one.

10) Test: (i) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (ii) A measure of your creativity in blaming the line for once again losing the fish.

From Will & Guy.

 

Advertisements

6 Responses to “Joke 733”

  1. mairedubhtx March 26, 2013 at 13:44 #

    Loved these

    Like

  2. terry1954 March 26, 2013 at 15:43 #

    love this post!!!!! I haven’t heard you talk about your malted milk balls lately, have you given this sweet treat up?

    Like

  3. sanstorm March 26, 2013 at 19:59 #

    In response to these found myself thinking I should make up some “fish walked into a bar” gags… but I already have. However I could revisit the punchlines. Hmm… lines ….

    Like

  4. viveka March 27, 2013 at 00:43 #

    Love fishing …… reading this I realize that there is a lot more behind fishing .. then when i do it. *smile

    Like

  5. Musings March 28, 2013 at 08:01 #

    And this post would be perfect for my brother in law. 🙂

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: