Joke 738

31 Mar
Not a Light Bulb Joke

Not a Light Bulb Joke (Photo credit: cogdogblog)

Q: How many Bill Gates’ does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

Q: How many MicroSoft tech support people dies it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay. Now exactly how dark is it? Okay, there could be 4 or 5 things wrong…have you tried the light switch?

Q: How many MicroSoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. Two to hold the ladder and one to hammer the bulb into a faucet.

Q: How many MicroSoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight. One to work the bulb, and seven to make sure that MicroSoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q: How many MicroSoft testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We just determine that the room is dark; we don’t actually change the bulb. Since we have a dead-bulb result on file from a previous test, rest assured that Development is working on a bug fix.

Q: How many MicroSoft shipping department personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can change the bulb in 7 to 10 working days. If you call before 2 PM, and pay an extra $15, we can get the bulb changed overnight. Don’t forget to put your name in the upper right hand corner of the light bulb box.

Q: How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But they’ll swear up and down that it was JUST as easy as it would be for a Mac user.

Q: How many MicroSoft managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We’ve formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and to determine what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Q: How many MicroSoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.



23 Responses to “Joke 738”

  1. slpmartin March 31, 2013 at 04:12 #

    Have a wonderful easter.


  2. List of X March 31, 2013 at 04:13 #

    If you ask Microsoft tech support to replace the lightbulb and complain it’s dark without it, they’ll probably just ask you to re-open your windows.


  3. terry1954 March 31, 2013 at 04:32 #

    those were good. Have a wonderful Easter my friend


  4. SidevieW March 31, 2013 at 04:57 #

    LOL, and we have met each of these along the way.


  5. thehutts March 31, 2013 at 05:04 #

    This is brilliant Tilly – Happy Easter. Sally


  6. benzeknees March 31, 2013 at 07:38 #



  7. Grannymar March 31, 2013 at 09:16 #

    No mention of pulling the plug! 😉

    Happy Easter, Tilly.


  8. Barbara March 31, 2013 at 09:44 #

    Brilliant xx


  9. sharechair March 31, 2013 at 12:51 #

    ha ha! Happy Easter!


  10. mairedubhtx March 31, 2013 at 13:17 #

    I loved these, especially the one where it would be just as easy for a Mac user, since I am a Mac user. It is NEVER easier for a Mac user. EVER.


  11. Al March 31, 2013 at 14:08 #

    Having some problems with your computer, are you?

    Happy Easter to Tilly Bud, Hub, Spud and Tory Boy!


  12. Rebecca April 1, 2013 at 01:12 #

    Oh yes, this is great. Gates may be doing a lot with his foundation, but he has been a ruthless businessman who killed creativity and competition to get to where he is.


  13. April 1, 2013 at 05:42 #

    Where do you find this material- I sooo needed a laugh- thanks Tilly


    • The Laughing Housewife April 1, 2013 at 10:48 #

      My joke research goes like this:

      Panic! Nothing for tomorrow’s joke! Can’t use Will & Guy EVERY day!

      Look around me in desperation for inspiration.

      See light bulb.

      Google ‘light bulb jokes’.

      And that’s how I do it 😀


  14. Three Well Beings April 1, 2013 at 06:31 #

    I didn’t now that Bill Gates and Microsoft had made it to the humor big leagues! 🙂 Funny!


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