I’m Dog Stupid

6 Apr

Stuff I say to my dogs

I caught myself saying the following yesterday:

  • Will you please get off my bladder? [Molly wanted me to get up when I wasn’t quite ready]
  • Stop nagging me!  [Toby wanted his walk]
  • Come on, Moo!  [Molly didn’t want her walk]
  • Are you coming to help me?  [Make the dinner.  Toby joins me in the kitchen every night and Spud tells me I say the same thing to him every night.  My hope is always wasted: Toby never does help]
  • Don’t lick the books!  [‘Books’ can be substituted by carpet/couch/cushions/trousers/walls/floor…anything, really.  Molly, also known as Licky Moo, likes to lick things; especially my sleeping face when the bladder trick doesn’t work]

My dogs vilipend me at every opportunity; brought on, no doubt, by my habit of being mush in their adorable little paws.

What daft things do you say to your pets?

Note for those of you who Know Who You Are:  You needn’t bother telling me that that’s why you don’t have dogs; I know it!

The previous two words:

Tacent: rapt attention in an audience, more flattering than applause.  What my dogs show me when I’m eating.

Usageaster: a self-styled authority on language usage.  What I become when I see an apostrophe in the wrong place and a misspelled word in the public domain.


For more Six Word Saturdays, go here.

55 Responses to “I’m Dog Stupid”

  1. Ron. April 6, 2013 at 11:28 #

    Dog’s, eh?


  2. lenwilliamscarver April 6, 2013 at 11:31 #

    There is not enough room here (and it would be rude to take up all that space) to say what I say to my KD. the bladder one gets said a lot! LOL


  3. Tom Merriman April 6, 2013 at 11:34 #

    I say ‘Wewwo’ to Spudley the Cat when she visits, Tilly. She says ‘Wewwo’ back as well…


  4. lenwilliamscarver April 6, 2013 at 12:32 #

    c’mon baby boy, mommy has your blankie right here., or, get off the legs momma can’t get your treat if you keep doing that! (I have periphal neuropathy) KD bumps my legs as I walk to kitchen for his good boy treat. He also likes to sleep on my feet always has to have his head or paw touching me and he too is a licker he has licked holes in his blankies.


  5. jmgoyder April 6, 2013 at 13:03 #



  6. Judy April 6, 2013 at 13:57 #

    When we visit my son we have tell the dog that it is not time for a walk. She always asks though!


    • The Laughing Housewife April 6, 2013 at 15:28 #

      I know what you mean! We say we’re going ‘bye-bye’ and they know we’re going out without them. But they’re not happy about it 🙂

      Do you have a link to your blog?


  7. Wayne April 6, 2013 at 14:10 #

    I am a big word fan. Usageaster is new to me. Thanks for sharing!


    • The Laughing Housewife April 6, 2013 at 15:29 #

      My pleasure! Have you been following my 26 new words in 26 posts? Lots of great words in them 🙂


  8. Al April 6, 2013 at 14:11 #

    “Hurry up and poop, will ya? It’s cold out here!” (Spoken every night without fail (except during the summers when it becomes “Hurry……………., I want to go to bed!”


  9. laurieanichols April 6, 2013 at 14:28 #

    Who wants their vittels? Jack where are the chipmunks? Stop nagging Maman. Who’s the cutest baby boy in the world? You are a loon. You are a little piglet. Jack is Maman your furniture? AIs Maman here just for you? Why are you assaulting Maman’s leg? I talk to Jack a lot.


  10. Elaine - I used to be indecisive April 6, 2013 at 14:30 #

    ‘It’s not your turn’ is what I used to say when the dog stood by the door looking hopeful as I put my coat on to go out. She always understood (of course – she hung on my every word!) and would go off and lie down.


  11. Jeanie April 6, 2013 at 14:46 #

    Right now i am telling him that it needs to warm up a little before we go for a walk, but from the look on his face I can tell that he’s not buying it. There is often as much conversation around here with the dog as there is between humans.


  12. mairedubhtx April 6, 2013 at 15:09 #

    Your conversations, however one-sided, with your dogs are quite similar to mine with my two darlings. Except my conversations are mainly with young Ralphy to say, “No, Ralphy! Put that down, Ralphy! Stop, Ralphy! Give me that, Ralphy! Where did you that, Ralphy?” You get the picture. Ernie never does anything wrong. My conversations with Ernie run to “Let’s go out, Ernie. Good boy, Ernie.” Poor Ralphy. But he does get his cookies when we come in from a walk and he’s happy about that and then goes on to find something to destroy. Sigh.


  13. viveka April 6, 2013 at 15:42 #

    No dog … nothing to say – more than I love both dogs and cats … and your photo is so adorable.


  14. AJ April 6, 2013 at 15:53 #

    Lol.. We don’t have any pets (or children..) but it was fun to read everyone’s comments 🙂

    Happy 6WS!


  15. SchmidleysScribbling April 6, 2013 at 16:13 #

    I would never disparage my little darlings. They are very nearly perfect. And, yes I talk to them all the time. And they talk back. Did you know dogs can understand up to 100 words? They seem to have difficulty with “WAIT” however. Dianne


  16. restlessjo April 6, 2013 at 16:43 #

    They do look adorable (and so innocent!) tucked up in their cosy blanket. Wouldn’t mind a snuggle myself.
    Hope you’re well, Tilly, and not feeling the pressure so much.


  17. Brenda April 6, 2013 at 16:57 #

    I have full on conversations with my dog… wonder what I would do if she responded….


  18. Carol April 6, 2013 at 17:06 #

    To my Bailey, she who nags, I say “use your inside voice” a lot. To my chubby-butt Shasta, I say “it was my bed first”. Among many other things, because we converse all day.


    • The Laughing Housewife April 6, 2013 at 18:02 #

      Hehe! My husband says ‘Paws on lips!’ when the dogs won’t stop barking, They ignore him, of course 🙂


  19. slpmartin April 6, 2013 at 17:41 #

    I shall begin to worry about you when you post their replies to your statements. 🙂


  20. Jess April 6, 2013 at 17:48 #

    Ahh your dogs are mega cute Tilly 🙂 I say to our hammies ” oh I love these lil’ dudes” and I call them ‘the boys’ and I kiss them loads! I love them to pieces!!! It is surely the law that we speak rubbish to our pets!


  21. granny1947 April 6, 2013 at 17:49 #

    When Jasmine is freaked out by a loud noise I have been known to say “don’t worry Darling, Mommy is here”


  22. gigihawaii April 6, 2013 at 18:00 #

    Cute dogs! I used to talk to my dog all the time. Now, no pets whatsoever, as I have David.


  23. McGuffy Ann Morris April 6, 2013 at 18:26 #

    You mean not everyone talks like this to their critters??


  24. Maddie Cochere April 6, 2013 at 19:58 #

    We used to have four dogs in our house. They all had distinct personalities, and they were certainly our children. We now only have one beagle. He’s likes to bark out the window by my desk. The things I tell him most often are, “That’s enough!” or “That’s not for you” or, my favorite, “Knock it off, I’m on the phone!” The person on the other end of the line is always surprised when the dog immediately stops barking. 🙂 There are plenty of sweet things, too, but they are boring.


    • The Laughing Housewife April 6, 2013 at 21:19 #

      It’s funny how they know. Ours definitely know that when we are going ‘bye-bye’, they are not coming with us.


  25. mlissabeth April 6, 2013 at 22:46 #

    “Time to get down.” She is always in the recliner with me when I am home. My husband calls her my shadow.


  26. Linda April 6, 2013 at 23:34 #

    We haven’t had pets for a very long time…but I do remember that we treated them just like a part of the family! Ha! It is understandable that you talk to them that way…cuz they are like our kids! 🙂


  27. colonialist April 6, 2013 at 23:45 #

    Well, I used to say that I wanted to go to the bee ee ay cee aitch so that they didn’t go into premature hysterics, but now the dogs have learnt that too and go into hysterics anyway as soon as they hear it, I wonder how soon they will learn, ‘Seaside’?
    When the white poodle sneaks into the study, I am inclined to say, ‘Go and find a leaf to munch on, you bleached caterpillar you!’


  28. benzeknees April 7, 2013 at 02:45 #

    I used to talk to Bandit like this all the time too. Thank goodness you don’t have a big labrador or another large dog sitting on your bladder. Your puppies are soooooooo cuuuuuuuuute!!!!!


  29. Katharine Trauger April 7, 2013 at 03:53 #

    I’ve created a pet of one of my chickens and I call it “My little Brave One” because all the rest of them are chicken.


  30. Jim April 7, 2013 at 06:13 #

    🙂 I love those, T.Bud ~~ Not that I haven’t heard them all, those are some of Mrs. Jim’s favorites for me.


  31. barb19 April 7, 2013 at 10:19 #

    “Look after the house whilst we’re gone – we won’t be long”, – and get a look of disdain.
    “Mummy and Daddy are just going hunting” – as we leave to buy some groceries!
    “What’s new Poppy?” On returning from the shops.
    I could go on and on . . . you know!


  32. Grannymar April 7, 2013 at 22:45 #

    You did it again. You made me broody with that photo.


  33. Real Life Farm Wife April 7, 2013 at 23:28 #

    I’ve been carrying on a one-sided conversation with Annie dog all day.


  34. eof737 April 13, 2013 at 08:56 #

    They are cute. 😉


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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