Archive | 20:16

A Week Of WordPress, Day 2

17 Apr

I make no apologies to those of you who have read this post once already – it deserves a big audience.

Sheer genius.

Worth Doing Badly

Last night’s WordPress prompt was “why do you blog?”….

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“So he’s back,” said Word Press.

“Who is?” asked his underling, Tag Category.

“Tinman,” snarled Press, spitting out the name as it was a mouthful of cod-liver oil. “The guy who spent all of last year slagging all of our daily prompts has just decided that he’s going to use them for the whole week no matter, and I quote, how daft they are.”

“Wow,” said Tag. “He must have really bad Writer’s Block.”

“You can’t get Writer’s Block,” said Press, “if you’re not a writer.”

“But he writes,” said Tag.

“He blogs,” said Press. “That’s not the same thing. It’s like saying that someone who flips burgers in McDonalds is a chef.”

Word Press did not like writers. He did not like literature. His parents, who did like literature, had called all of their children after literary characters…

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Joke 755

17 Apr

I read this on punoftheday:

The ancient Romans only gathered once a week, because that was enough forum.

I liked it so much, I Googled ‘joke ancient rome’ (my dirty little secret is out: Googling is the only time I don’t use capitals) to flesh out this post.  I came across a Guardian story from 2009.  A joke book, believed to be more than 1600 years old, was discovered by classical professor Mary Beard.  

I give you two jokes from the book, as described in the article:

An ancient version of Monty Python’s dead parrot sketch sees a man buy a slave, who dies shortly afterwards. When he complains to the seller, he is told: “He didn’t die when I owned him.”

Beard’s favourite joke is a version of the Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman variety, with a barber, a bald man and an absent-minded professor taking a journey together. They have to camp overnight, so decide to take turns watching the luggage. When it’s the barber’s turn, he gets bored, so amuses himself by shaving the head of the professor. When the professor is woken up for his shift, he feels his head, and says “How stupid is that barber? He’s woken up the bald man instead of me.”

Don’t blame me – I said they were classical, not classic.  They were funny when they were written.   Saltem, spero sic.

 

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