Archive | 15:37

Six Down; Eighty-Seven To Go

2 May

I’m a little behind in answering the daily prompts – about 93 prompts behind, if I’m honest.  So here goes:

At noon today, take a pause in what you’re doing or thinking about. Make a note of it, and write a post about it later.

12:00  Mmm, lunch!

12:02:  Mmm, lunch was delicious!

Hot dog eating a hot dog

Hot dog eating a hot dog (Photo credit: interpunct)

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Head to your favorite online news source. Pick an article with a headline that grabs you. Now, write a short story based on the article. 

From Sky News:  Cannibalism Confirmed At Early US Settlements

Summary: Jamestown residents eat 14 year-old girl after difficult winter.

We’ve had a difficult winter, haven’t we Spud?

Mmm…lunch…

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What role does music play in your life?

It often accompanies lunch.

But what it really wants to do is direct.

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Read the story of Richard Parker and Tom Dudley.  [Shipwrecked sailors dine on dying cabin boy] Is what Dudley did defensible? What would you have done?

I plead the Fifth.  I will say, however, that if I had been there, which I quite possibly was because the report says Tilly succeeded in obtaining bail, that I’d have been cleared on the grounds that it would drive any Tilly insane to have to go for more than four hours without food.

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Invent a definition for the word “flangiprop,” then use the word in a post. 

 Flangiprop: 

An open, tartlike pastry, 
the shell of which is baked 
in a bottomless band of metal
on a baking sheet, 
removed from the ring 
and filled with custard, cream, fruit, etc.  
It has a gelatinous base.
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Mmm, dessert was delicious!
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Reincarnation: do you believe in it?
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Not at all.
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Though I did in a previous life.
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Joke 770

2 May

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial – an elderly woman.  He approached her and asked, “Mrs Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams.  I’ve known you since you were a young boy.  And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me.  You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.  You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.  Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

“Why, yes I do.  I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.  I used to baby-sit him for his parents.  And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem.  The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.  Yes, I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice he said, with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be in jail within three minutes!”

Thanks once again to Elizabeth for today’s joke.

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