Joke 770

2 May

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial – an elderly woman.  He approached her and asked, “Mrs Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams.  I’ve known you since you were a young boy.  And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me.  You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.  You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.  Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

“Why, yes I do.  I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.  I used to baby-sit him for his parents.  And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem.  The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.  Yes, I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice he said, with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be in jail within three minutes!”

Thanks once again to Elizabeth for today’s joke.

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9 Responses to “Joke 770”

  1. sspjlife56 May 2, 2013 at 04:15 #

    that was cute!!!

    Like

  2. benzeknees May 2, 2013 at 06:15 #

    LOL!!!!

    Like

  3. viv blake May 2, 2013 at 07:29 #

    This was very funny, and I wonder how the case turned out? In a small town, I suppose everyone knew everyone!

    Like

  4. sharechair May 2, 2013 at 12:44 #

    Ha!! Way to go, small town lady!

    Like

  5. eof737 May 2, 2013 at 13:14 #

    You’re on a roll.I love it.;-)
    Eliz

    Like

  6. colonialist May 2, 2013 at 18:08 #

    The ‘truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth’ can be really awkward, at times! 🙂

    Like

  7. slpmartin May 3, 2013 at 00:48 #

    Oh…now this was really funny….had to laugh out loud at the ending.

    Like

  8. Grannymar May 5, 2013 at 16:58 #

    That was brilliant! I am slowly playing catch up.

    Like

  9. vastlycurious.com May 9, 2013 at 20:23 #

    Rolling on the floor laughing! Thanks as usual! :-☽

    Like

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Nicola Hulme Author

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