Joke 778

10 May

cars of different sizes

A bloke walks into a parts store.  He says, ‘I need a petrol cap for a Kia.’

‘Okay,’ says the salesman, ‘it sounds like a fair swap.’

*

A car jumper cable walks into a bar.  The barman says, ‘I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.’
*
*
A glue tanker on the motorway has shed its load. Drivers are advised to stick to the inside lane.
*
*
I wouldn’t say my car is old, but it’s insured against fire, theft and Vikings.
 *
*
I’ve figured out how to avoid getting parking tickets. I’ve taken the windscreen wipers off my car.
*
*
 

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and can’t stand in the driver ahead of you.
 *
*

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
*
*
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
*
*
*
Advertisements

8 Responses to “Joke 778”

  1. benzeknees May 10, 2013 at 06:50 #

    Those cars in the pic are my most favorite color of purple!

    Like

  2. bevchen May 10, 2013 at 08:59 #

    Don’t start anything! Hehe.

    Like

  3. viveka May 10, 2013 at 13:46 #

    Love the image …. the jokes, my Swedish brain couldn’t work them all out .. and I haven’t been driving for 44 years. Maybe that’s way. Have a great weekend, Linda.

    Like

  4. mairedubhtx May 10, 2013 at 14:41 #

    So far this week I’ve had a flat tire and found out that I have to have the transmission replaced (at least this is under warranty; I don’t have to pay). The week is not going well for the car. Happy Friday. Haven’t a clue when I’ll see my car again.

    Like

  5. Terry May 11, 2013 at 02:35 #

    that is the cutest photo i have seen in I don’t know when, a long time. love it!!!!

    Like

  6. viv blake May 11, 2013 at 08:18 #

    I groaned at them all except the last one: that’s untrue – I know I’m not a good driver. 🙂

    Like

  7. colonialist May 11, 2013 at 21:28 #

    That journey of 1000 miles one isn’t funny!

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: