Archive | 09:59

Time To Change The Beds

11 May

We have a guest arriving tomorrow:

Our Christmas nephew: large, jolly, fun.  

He’ll be here for a week.

I’ll still get some blogging done.  

I will clean the house today.

At least there is no sun:

I can’t clean on sunny days;

I enjoy them till they’re gone.

No cream teas

No cream teas (Photo credit: fisserman)

Joke 779

11 May

A Dog Asks

  • Why do humans smell the flowers, but not each other?
  • When we get to heaven, can we sit on the couch? Or is it still the same old story?
  • Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the “Chrysler Eagle” the “Chrysler Beagle”?
  • If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
  • We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
  • More meatballs, less spaghetti.
  • Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
  • When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

  1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they can eat it.
  2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.
  3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.
  4. The sofa is not a face towel.
  5.  The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
  6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
  7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying “hello.”
  8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
  9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house — not after.
  10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
  11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
  12. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.

From dogbreedinfo.

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