Archive | 09:59
Joke 779
11 May
A Dog Asks
- Why do humans smell the flowers, but not each other?
- When we get to heaven, can we sit on the couch? Or is it still the same old story?
- Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the “Chrysler Eagle” the “Chrysler Beagle”?
- If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
- We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
- More meatballs, less spaghetti.
- Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
- When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
- I will not eat the cats’ food before they can eat it.
- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.
- The litter box is not a cookie jar.
- The sofa is not a face towel.
- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
- Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying “hello.”
- I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house — not after.
- I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
- The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.
I have the funniest readers in the blogosphere (not necessarily ha ha…)