Joke 783

15 May

“Two peanuts walk into a really rough bar. Unfortunately, one was a salted.”

Français : Steak tartare présenté de façon ori...

Français : Steak tartare présenté de façon originale (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


“What do you call someone with jelly in one ear and custard in the other? A trifle deaf.”

“A man was drowned eating his muesli the other day. He was pulled in by a strong currant…”

“Q: Why did the biscuit cry? A: Because his dad been a wafer so long”

“How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down a hill.”

“Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.”

“Have you heard the one about the rhubarb who robbed a shop? He got taken into custardy.”

“Did you hear about the curry lover who wrote trashy fiction? He was a paperback riata.

“What cheese do you use to lure a bear down a mountain? Camembert!”

“What cheese is made backwards? Edam”

“What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit? An egg.”

“What’s the fastest cake in the world?…scone.”

“How do you approach an angry welsh cheese? Caerphilly.”

“Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because he’s a fun-guy”

“What is small, red and whispers? … A HOARSE RADISH…”

“What’s orange and doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese!”

From Channel4



26 Responses to “Joke 783”

  1. Terry May 15, 2013 at 04:27 #

    those were really cute and funny! Thanks!


  2. slpmartin May 15, 2013 at 04:58 #

    Very cute indeed…hope you’re having a wonderful week.


  3. siggiofmaine May 15, 2013 at 05:22 #

    OMgoodness..wanted to “sigh” but these are too good !
    Thank you,


  4. sheilamariegrimes May 15, 2013 at 05:55 #

    Good grief, where do you come up with this stuff …SO FUNNY!


  5. benzeknees May 15, 2013 at 07:30 #

    I had to read Nacho Cheese aloud about 5 times before I got it! Sometimes the silliest things don’t make sense at first.


  6. Maddie Cochere May 15, 2013 at 07:38 #

    I’ve probably heard variations of the nacho cheese joke a million times, and I laugh every time. Yes! A million laughs!! 🙂


  7. colonialist May 15, 2013 at 10:06 #

    Love the a salted!
    I just had to make one up – Why would one go in sultana person? For good raisin!


  8. Viveka May 15, 2013 at 12:36 #

    You’re …. just great.


  9. sharechair May 15, 2013 at 12:46 #

    Can we vote? I like the blushing tomato. 😳


  10. mairedubhtx May 15, 2013 at 12:52 #

    Loved “Nacho Cheese!”


  11. Katharine Trauger May 15, 2013 at 13:15 #

    A lot of cute ones here! 🙂


  12. SchmidleysScribbling May 15, 2013 at 14:34 #

    I like the cheesy bits. Dianne


  13. Grannymar May 15, 2013 at 15:32 #

    “What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit? An egg.” – Love it!


  14. Janie Jones May 15, 2013 at 15:36 #

    LOL! Love ’em.


  15. viv blake May 15, 2013 at 21:26 #

    What a great collection. Though I didn’t get the last one.


  16. adinparadise May 19, 2013 at 20:06 #

    Thanks for the smiles, Tilly. You can keep that steak tartare all for yourself. 🙂


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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