Joke 783

15 May

“Two peanuts walk into a really rough bar. Unfortunately, one was a salted.”

Français : Steak tartare présenté de façon ori...

Français : Steak tartare présenté de façon originale (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

@kchadda

“What do you call someone with jelly in one ear and custard in the other? A trifle deaf.”
@Channel4Food

“A man was drowned eating his muesli the other day. He was pulled in by a strong currant…”
@Bookatable

“Q: Why did the biscuit cry? A: Because his dad been a wafer so long”
@SeasonalFood

“How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down a hill.”
@Channel4Food

“Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.”
@BDT_Food

“Have you heard the one about the rhubarb who robbed a shop? He got taken into custardy.”
@Channel4Food

“Did you hear about the curry lover who wrote trashy fiction? He was a paperback riata.
@curryclubUK

“What cheese do you use to lure a bear down a mountain? Camembert!”
@lilyskitchen

“What cheese is made backwards? Edam”
@lilyskitchen

“What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit? An egg.”
@Addisonfowle

“What’s the fastest cake in the world?…scone.”
@Bakerjen

“How do you approach an angry welsh cheese? Caerphilly.”
@snidebeaker

“Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because he’s a fun-guy”
@ChocExplosion

“What is small, red and whispers? … A HOARSE RADISH…”
@nathanrgray

“What’s orange and doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese!”
@Shinybiscuit

From Channel4

 

Advertisements

26 Responses to “Joke 783”

  1. Terry May 15, 2013 at 04:27 #

    those were really cute and funny! Thanks!

    Like

  2. slpmartin May 15, 2013 at 04:58 #

    Very cute indeed…hope you’re having a wonderful week.

    Like

  3. siggiofmaine May 15, 2013 at 05:22 #

    OMgoodness..wanted to “sigh” but these are too good !
    Thank you,
    Peace
    Siggi

    Like

  4. sheilamariegrimes May 15, 2013 at 05:55 #

    Good grief, where do you come up with this stuff …SO FUNNY!

    Like

  5. benzeknees May 15, 2013 at 07:30 #

    I had to read Nacho Cheese aloud about 5 times before I got it! Sometimes the silliest things don’t make sense at first.

    Like

  6. Maddie Cochere May 15, 2013 at 07:38 #

    I’ve probably heard variations of the nacho cheese joke a million times, and I laugh every time. Yes! A million laughs!! 🙂

    Like

  7. colonialist May 15, 2013 at 10:06 #

    Love the a salted!
    I just had to make one up – Why would one go in sultana person? For good raisin!

    Like

  8. Viveka May 15, 2013 at 12:36 #

    You’re …. just great.

    Like

  9. sharechair May 15, 2013 at 12:46 #

    Can we vote? I like the blushing tomato. 😳

    Like

  10. mairedubhtx May 15, 2013 at 12:52 #

    Loved “Nacho Cheese!”

    Like

  11. Katharine Trauger May 15, 2013 at 13:15 #

    A lot of cute ones here! 🙂

    Like

  12. SchmidleysScribbling May 15, 2013 at 14:34 #

    I like the cheesy bits. Dianne

    Like

  13. Grannymar May 15, 2013 at 15:32 #

    “What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit? An egg.” – Love it!

    Like

  14. Janie Jones May 15, 2013 at 15:36 #

    LOL! Love ’em.

    Like

  15. viv blake May 15, 2013 at 21:26 #

    What a great collection. Though I didn’t get the last one.

    Like

  16. adinparadise May 19, 2013 at 20:06 #

    Thanks for the smiles, Tilly. You can keep that steak tartare all for yourself. 🙂

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: