101/1001 (Week 112)

18 May

Did something I’ve never done before

I meant to write this post yesterday but the P Diddy/Downton thing was more fun.  By the way, if you can’t see the video, just Google/You Tube it.  It’s worth a watch.

It has been three months since my last update of 101 tasks in 1001 days.  I haven’t done much, apart from the aforementioned thing I’ve never done before, though I did complete three tasks:

Make thirty submissions to competitions or publishers (31/30)

I was a runner-up in the last competition I entered, and the poem will be coming out with others in an e-book.  I’ll be sure to let you know when that happens.

Find 26 unfamiliar words, one for each letter of the alphabet. (Words: 26/26)

Then use them in a post a day for 26 days.

I did skip a day by accident (I forgot) but I used all 26 words, each of which I have already forgotten.  We had fun with that one, didn’t we?

Learn the names of all twelve disciples.

That was more complicated than I expected – thirteen are named, though there are only twelve.  Thaddeus/Judas may or may not be the same person.  Can’t believe I’ve been reading the Bible for 36 years and never noticed that before.  

Then came the something I’ve never done before – it’s a biggy!

Saarbrucken funny toilet 0124

Saarbrucken funny toilet 0124 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Expose myself to twenty new experiences (14/20)

I have already told you about twelve in earlier 101/1001 posts.

I also told you about number 13: I asked a stranger for a favour.  That was the whole email-an-author-to-talk-to-us-for-free thing.  Feeling pleased about that one: Stockport Writers were still raving about her at our last meeting.

14. I changed a toilet seat by myself!

How impressive am I??

I decorated the bathroom the other weekend.  Everything looked clean and fresh apart from the grotty toilet seat (never knew a bum could cause such wear and tear).  We bought a new toilet seat and it sat there and sat there and sat there, waiting for the Hub to feel well enough to change it.  Use me, it cried; Pee on me, please…well, not on me, of course, between me…through me…?

The toilet seat was obviously having some sort of existentialist crisis so I asked the Hub, If I remove the old seat and clean the loo in the parts where I normally can’t reach, do you feel well enough to put on the new one?

Urggh, he grunted from his sick bed, which I took to mean ‘Yes’.

I’ll be honest: taking off the old toilet seat was the yuckiest, grossest, most revolting job I’ve ever done; and I say that as a woman who fed prunes to her babies.  It was disgusting with a capital disgusting.  However, some rubber gloves helped, as did turning my face away so I couldn’t see what I was doing (though I had to explain to the Hub why I had unscrewed the pedestal from the floor).

Turns out it was my imagination: what I thought was +++ (fill in the blank; this is a family blog so I’m not going to be poo graphic), turned out to be rust from the old screws.  I know this because I had to snap them off when first Vaseline and then WD40 didn’t work enough to allow me to turn them.

Ahem…that’s not quite true: I did manage to turn them, but the wrong way, so I tightened the old screws.  I wasn’t strong enough to loosen them but there was nothing a good kick in the old cistern couldn’t fix.

English: Prize money check drawn on the unders...

Prize money check drawn on the underside of a toilet seat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Having removed the old seat and cleaned the rusty holes, I had to see how the new seat would look.  It looked really easy to attach, so I tried attaching it.  And succeeded!  

Okay, the Hub had to remove it again to adjust it so we wouldn’t trap flesh and dangly bits between the seat and base but, hey!  I replaced a toilet seat!  I’m fifty this year and I replaced a toilet seat for the first time in my life.  Am I cool or what?

It was worth doing this 101/1001 thing for that alone.  I replaced a toilet seat!

A note of caution: if you intend to visit me in the next few weeks, be advised – upon arrival, all guests will immediately be taken on a tour of my new toilet seat, which I replaced, all by myself!

 

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36 Responses to “101/1001 (Week 112)”

  1. Ron. May 18, 2013 at 12:44 #

    No one, TB, absolutly no one is cooler than you. Please come change my toilet seat.

    Like

  2. mairedubhtx May 18, 2013 at 13:07 #

    You are really plowing through your tasks! I’m proud of you. And changing a toilet seat! Good for you! Way to go!

    Like

  3. Kayleigh May 18, 2013 at 13:15 #

    This cracked me up — the whole toilet seat part had me ROFLMAO! Not only are you funny, but utterly impressive to boot!

    Like

  4. viv blake May 18, 2013 at 13:16 #

    Bravo to the power 49. Re Apostles: did you count Matthias (the Judas replacement chap)?

    Like

  5. McGuffy Ann Morris May 18, 2013 at 13:45 #

    Wow…you are an inspiration…or shaming me…I’m not sure…

    Like

  6. laurieanichols May 18, 2013 at 13:45 #

    Oh my goodness did I laugh, not at you, never at you, but at all the things that you went through that I have learned through trial and error myself over the years. With my hubby gone all week at work and we have been operating as a weekend married couple off and on for 23 years depending on the job situation so I know full well how wonderful it feels to accomplish these types of household projects. Godd for you!! You brought back memories of aome of my own adventures in Do It Yourself porjects.:)

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife May 18, 2013 at 13:47 #

      Do tell!

      Like

      • laurieanichols May 18, 2013 at 14:30 #

        The trapping and disposal of various rodents throughout the years; bleeding the furnace in the middle of the night, going without water for a week and a half, I’ll have to write a post about that one. I’ll have to think about it some more, there was a tub that had overflowed because someone left the water running and it flooded into the space between the upstairs and downstairs bathrooms. That was not fun. Thanks for the ideas on future posts Tilly!

        Like

        • The Laughing Housewife May 18, 2013 at 15:47 #

          Impressed! And looking forward to reading your adventures 🙂

          Like

          • laurieanichols May 18, 2013 at 15:55 #

            Don’t be impressed, you would have done the same if you had been in my shoes however if you were writing about these adaventures in household management, they would be so hilarious.

            Like

  7. SchmidleysScribbling May 18, 2013 at 14:07 #

    Goodness sakes, you mind takes funny turns, but you lost me at the toilet seat. As for apostles, do you know the difference between apostles and disciples? I do. Dianne

    Like

  8. Elaine - I used to be indecisive May 18, 2013 at 14:09 #

    I am VERY impressed by your toilet seat replacing prowess.

    Like

  9. viveka May 18, 2013 at 14:47 #

    After reading this … I’m convinst that we all need a Linda in our life *smile … clever, funnya and able to change toilet seat – what a catch. *smile

    Like

  10. Tonya May 18, 2013 at 15:31 #

    Okay, I need to remember to have my coffee before I read your posts in the future because I read that your new thing was that you exposed yourself to twenty new people! I was happy to read that it was something totally different than what I first thought! LOL Congratulations on your accomplishment! You truly are the coolest!

    Like

  11. slpmartin May 18, 2013 at 15:53 #

    Your home repair skills are indeed amazing. 🙂 Have a great weekend.

    Like

  12. sheilamariegrimes May 18, 2013 at 16:23 #

    it would be fun to visit you and your toliet seat! Atlas …live too far away! …lol

    Like

  13. Sarah Angleton May 18, 2013 at 16:40 #

    I, too, have changed a toilet seat once and only once in my lifetime. That was at least 10 years ago and here I am recounting the tale of my triumph to strangers. I wish I could say that was something I’d never done before.

    Like

  14. Janie Jones May 18, 2013 at 17:03 #

    Isn’t it surprising how liberating it feels to do something like replacing a toilet seat? I’ve been doing this myself for years. It started when I rented my first house. I just couldn’t bring myself to sit on that old mangy toilet seat. To begin with, it was one of those padded vinyl kinds that make a “poof” when you sit on them, which I loathe. The vinyl was cracked in places and a funny color. I declared it stained after attempting to clean it using every cleaning substance the local stores supplied. By the time I was finished scrubbing it to death the cracks in the vinyl were full blown tears and, being to prissy to sit on that, I marched myself down to the hardware store and bought a new toilet seat. I was living alone at that time, and had no choice but to replace it myself, but it never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to figure it out. After that it’s been my tradition: the first thing that gets done after I move into a new place is the toilets all get new seats. Then I feel at home.

    Oh, yeah, I get new plungers for each toilet, too. Someone else’s plunger… *shudder* who knows what it’s touched and when the last time it was cleaned.

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife May 18, 2013 at 18:55 #

      Suddenly I feel dirty… 😉

      Well done you! I have never had to do these things before so, yes, I feel amazingly liberated 😀

      Like

  15. colonialist May 18, 2013 at 20:09 #

    *incredulous* You started by loosening the pedestal? And then, you didn’t consider the normal forces of gravity which would have to be defied in order to place something else where the rust was?
    Still, you got the job done so that jobs may continue to be done!

    Like

  16. kateshrewsday May 18, 2013 at 20:27 #

    Congratulations on that toilet seat, Tilly! Its more than I’ve ever done…

    Like

  17. Suzy May 19, 2013 at 03:33 #

    You are cool! well done. I could feel your excitement and joy. Enjoy your weekend.

    Like

  18. Jess May 19, 2013 at 11:49 #

    Iam actually very impressed Tilly!I cant even change a lightbulb ‘hangs her head in shame’

    Like

  19. jmgoyder May 19, 2013 at 20:23 #

    Okay, you are definitely hired, Tilly!

    Like

  20. benzeknees May 20, 2013 at 00:02 #

    While I have never done anything so monumental as to change a toilet seat, I can understand your pride. When we first moved into our new place, all guests got a tour of my bathroom because it had a shower stall which I’d never had before!

    Like

  21. Grannymar May 20, 2013 at 07:48 #

    I hope Hub pesented you with a Toilet Seat Replacer Award and a box of Maltesers for this! You could frame it to hang on the back of the loo door!

    Like

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Nicola Hulme Author

Exploring creative writing and learning every day

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