Archive | 08:43

Absence Makes The Blog Grow Longer

26 May

I haven’t commented much this week on your blogs* and I’ll probably comment even less next week (should that be, I’ll probably comment even fewer?), but I’m sure you’ll forgive me (should that be, I’m shore ewe’ll forgive me?) when you hear/here/ear/her my excuse: I’ve been busy.

*Here’s a funny thing: why would the spellchecker on a blog not recognise the word ‘blog’?  Or ‘spellchecker’?

I was busy all this week and I’m going to be busy all next week, but next week’s busyness promises to be more fun than this week’s busy/iness.  I am (we are) expecting visitors tomorrow (hence the business – cleaning prep).

Not just any visitors: blogging friends as visitors!  From not wan blog, but too:


And Ben:

English: Artwork on a window On a blacked out ...

Artwork on a window On a blacked out sash and case window of a house at the junction of Traquair Road and Angle Park in Innerleithen. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is not Ben and bears no relationship to him at all, unless he’s one-dimensional by nature, which I seriously doubt; but I forgot to ask Janet’s permission to post a photo of him, though there is one on his blog.  You’ll find him here.  I don’t want to begin our visit by upsetting her (which, when she meets me, may still happen; I have no tact, you know).

They are mother and son (I’ll let you guess which is which/whom is whom/who is witch)* and they both have interesting blogs.  Ben is an Epic Dude with an epic interest in history; Janet makes the most exquisite origami, some of which I now possess.  I am really looking forward to our five days together…yes, even though they have never met me, they are willing to stay here for five days.  Brave or foolhardy?  Depends on how they like stodgy cooking and dodgy puns.

*Tactlessness in action

I will post the joke-a-day but I may not post much about the visit until after they’ve gone (though it may be on the news if it doesn’t go well…say, Janet doesn’t like my left leg or something.  Not that I’m not easily offended or anything).

I’m pretty addled from the week I’ve had, hence the garbled post (and you thought it was you…); I decided not to write about anything much until I have the time to devote  to it.  Not that Janet and Ben’s visit isn’t much; it is; I meant that I…oh, forget it.  I’ll explain tomorrow, if they don’t take one look at me on the platform and decide to stay on the train.

To whet your appetite, here are some stimulating topics which I will be discussing when normal service is resumed:

  • Cleaning
  • Our local town hall
  • The contents of my nasal passage

See you on the other side!

Joke 794

26 May

What I’ve Learned As I Have Aged

  • I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
  • I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
  • I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
  • I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others – they are more screwed up than you think.
  • I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
  • I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.
  • I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not to pet the sweaty things.
  • I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
  • I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
  • I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

From Will & Guy

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