Joke 794

26 May

What I’ve Learned As I Have Aged

  • I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
  • I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
  • I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
  • I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others – they are more screwed up than you think.
  • I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
  • I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.
  • I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not to pet the sweaty things.
  • I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
  • I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
  • I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

From Will & Guy

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19 Responses to “Joke 794”

  1. slpmartin May 26, 2013 at 04:21 #

    Sitting at a mountain retreat for the holiday…and really enjoying this post.

    Like

  2. Thumbelina81 May 26, 2013 at 05:19 #

    The picture is hilarious so is the post. You indeed are my laughter dose for everday , my lady.

    Like

  3. Terry May 26, 2013 at 05:32 #

    that was great!

    Like

  4. misswhiplash May 26, 2013 at 06:44 #

    Yippee…got it! Got it!……now I can see what is happening in our Blogging Fellowship

    Like

  5. Three Well Beings May 26, 2013 at 06:58 #

    I ask similar questions every day as I look in the mirror. When did THIS happen. LOL!

    Like

  6. Katherine Gordy Levine May 26, 2013 at 07:11 #

    Pinned this on my Aging is not for Sissies Board. Thank you and Thank Will and Guy. http://pinterest.com/pin/147141112798236218/

    Like

  7. colonialist May 26, 2013 at 08:16 #

    Droll, doll! The grandkids are quite expert at that one good turn thing!

    Like

  8. viv blake May 26, 2013 at 08:55 #

    I’m keeping this one to think about when I’m old(er).

    Like

    • viv blake May 26, 2013 at 09:04 #

      PS, Jock says that he’s forgotten what it was he was supposed to remember when he was older.

      Like

  9. Grannymar May 26, 2013 at 09:49 #

    I looked in the mirror the other day, I was about to shake hands when I realised that I knew that old lady! 😦

    Like

  10. mairedubhtx May 26, 2013 at 13:07 #

    Loved the graphic. That’s how I feel. WHAT HAPPENED!?

    Like

  11. sharechair May 26, 2013 at 23:56 #

    Describes me to a “t”. How did this happen??

    Like

  12. viveka May 28, 2013 at 10:19 #

    Excellent … me like very much – and my favorite is “I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.” – brilliant, brilliant … see you on the other side when ever.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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