Joke 802

Hard Labor Musical Joke (Photo credit: AV Dezign)

These are from ducksdeluxe.com…evidently, musicians don’t rate high on their agenda:

How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.

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What’s the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
Who cares – neither one’s a guitar.

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How do you know when the stage is level?
The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

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What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.

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How do you get a guitar player off of your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.

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“What did you do on Earth?”
“I was a surgeon. I helped the lame to walk.”
“Well, go right on in through the Pearly Gates.”

“What did you do on Earth?”
“I was a school teacher. I taught the blind to see.”
“Fine…go right on in through the Pearly Gates.”

“What did you do on Earth?”
“I was a musician. I helped make sad people happy.”
“You can load in through the kitchen.”