These are from ducksdeluxe.com…evidently, musicians don’t rate high on their agenda:
How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.
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What’s the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
Who cares – neither one’s a guitar.
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How do you know when the stage is level?
The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.
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What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
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How do you get a guitar player off of your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
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“What did you do on Earth?”
“I was a surgeon. I helped the lame to walk.”
“Well, go right on in through the Pearly Gates.”
“What did you do on Earth?”
“I was a school teacher. I taught the blind to see.”
“Fine…go right on in through the Pearly Gates.”
“What did you do on Earth?”
“I was a musician. I helped make sad people happy.”
“You can load in through the kitchen.”
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
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Oh my…these do seem to have a negative tone to them about musicians…still a bit funny.
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Poor musicians….
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Glad I am not a musician! 😆
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Since I dated a piccolo player, I really liked the first one. You could have shot him.
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Ouch!
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sad day for musicians!
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Very funny, Tilly. Love the “homeless” one. 🙂
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I have absolutely no musical ability at all. I am probably going straight into heaven.
BTW we saw a little dog that looks like yours at the vet’s office and David loved it. What kind of terrier is he? Dianne
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Yorkshire terrier. They are gorgeous, aren’t they?
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Poor piccolo players! I have been told by members of the orchestra that they are the butt of humour of all other musicians.
My attempt on this theme: What do you call a guitarist in the orchestra? Lost.
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😀
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I would love to reblog this. May I?
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Be my guest 😀
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Reblogged this on Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit and commented:
Gotta love some good musician jokes. I’m a musician, and I can laugh at these. One of the instruments I play is guitar, and I can vouch for the guitar player being lost in the orchestra. For a good laugh every day, check out “The Laughing Housewife!”
TTFN, y’all!
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hahahahaha – I have read a few musician jokes recently 🙂 particularly ones that are derogatory to bass players – who knew!
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These are so much fun! Just want you to know I saw my first box of Maltesers in China! To think I had to go so far to see what you were talking about. I wish I was able to try it but we were in the check out line already with not enough Hong Kong dollars. Ah well. Not to worry. We plan to be in Ireland some time and I’m sure we’ll see them there. 🙂
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Amazing! I didn’t know they went so far.
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