Joke 802

3 Jun
Hard Labor Musical Joke

Hard Labor Musical Joke (Photo credit: AV Dezign)

These are from ducksdeluxe.com…evidently, musicians don’t rate high on their agenda:

How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.

*

What’s the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
Who cares – neither one’s a guitar.

*

How do you know when the stage is level?
The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

*

What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.

*

How do you get a guitar player off of your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.

*

“What did you do on Earth?”
“I was a surgeon. I helped the lame to walk.”
“Well, go right on in through the Pearly Gates.”

“What did you do on Earth?”
“I was a school teacher. I taught the blind to see.”
“Fine…go right on in through the Pearly Gates.”

“What did you do on Earth?”
“I was a musician. I helped make sad people happy.”
“You can load in through the kitchen.”

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18 Responses to “Joke 802”

  1. benzeknees June 3, 2013 at 04:08 #

    Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

    Like

  2. slpmartin June 3, 2013 at 04:19 #

    Oh my…these do seem to have a negative tone to them about musicians…still a bit funny.

    Like

  3. SidevieW June 3, 2013 at 06:57 #

    Poor musicians….

    Like

  4. Grannymar June 3, 2013 at 09:56 #

    Glad I am not a musician! ūüėÜ

    Like

  5. mairedubhtx June 3, 2013 at 13:51 #

    Since I dated a piccolo player, I really liked the first one. You could have shot him.

    Like

  6. sheilamariegrimes June 3, 2013 at 16:44 #

    sad day for musicians!

    Like

  7. adinparadise June 3, 2013 at 18:24 #

    Very funny, Tilly. Love the “homeless” one. ūüôā

    Like

  8. SchmidleysScribbling June 3, 2013 at 20:29 #

    I have absolutely no musical ability at all. I am probably going straight into heaven.

    BTW we saw a little dog that looks like yours at the vet’s office and David loved it. What kind of terrier is he? Dianne

    Like

  9. colonialist June 3, 2013 at 20:37 #

    Poor piccolo players! I have been told by members of the orchestra that they are the butt of humour of all other musicians.
    My attempt on this theme: What do you call a guitarist in the orchestra? Lost.

    Like

  10. Jeff June 3, 2013 at 21:34 #

    I would love to reblog this. May I?

    Like

  11. Jeff June 3, 2013 at 21:51 #

    Reblogged this on Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit and commented:
    Gotta love some good musician jokes. I’m a musician, and I can laugh at these. One of the instruments I play is guitar, and I can vouch for the guitar player being lost in the orchestra. For a good laugh every day, check out “The Laughing Housewife!”

    TTFN, y’all!

    Like

  12. Gabrielle Bryden June 4, 2013 at 02:10 #

    hahahahaha – I have read a few musician jokes recently ūüôā particularly ones that are derogatory to bass players – who knew!

    Like

  13. Musings June 4, 2013 at 09:25 #

    These are so much fun! Just want you to know I saw my first box of Maltesers in China! To think I had to go so far to see what you were talking about. I wish I was able to try it but we were in the check out line already with not enough Hong Kong dollars. Ah well. Not to worry. We plan to be in Ireland some time and I’m sure we’ll see them there. ūüôā

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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