Archive | 04:00

Joke 805

6 Jun
Overworked and Underpaid Inc Now Seeking Quali...

Overworked and Underpaid Inc Now Seeking Qualified Applicants (Photo credit: Graela)

Allegedly, these are taken from real job applications:

  • “I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.”
  • “I have lurnt Word for Widows, computor operations and spreasheet progroms.”
  • “I received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
  • “Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.”
  • “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
  • “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
  • “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
  • “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
  • “You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
  • “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
  • “I was working for my mom until she decided to move.”
  • “Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.”
  • “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
  • “I am loyal to my employer at all costs…Please feel free to respond to my résumé on my office voice mail.”
  • “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
  • “My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.”

From Will & Guy.

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