Joke 814

15 Jun
Maybe They Won't See Me

Maybe They Won’t See Me (Photo credit: jamacdonald)

As I get closer to the 1001st joke, it’s getting tougher to find jokes I haven’t posted before.   I find myself looking around the room for a topic I might not have covered.  Tonight, I spotted a blanket.

There are no jokes about blankets, I thought.  Incredibly, I was wrong.  I do love the internet!

I know I have posted the first joke before (searching for man/woman jokes), but it’s so good, it’s worth sharing again.  The others are new to me.

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A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.

In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket?”

The man leans out and with a glint in his eye says, “I’ve got a better idea…let’s pretend we’re married.”

“Why not,” giggles the woman.

“Good,” he replies. “Get your own blanket.” 

Gilbert Sleeping

Gilbert Sleeping (Photo credit: somenametoforget)

How do you make anti-freeze?

Take away her blanket.

*

Why couldn’t the blanket get a job?

It kept getting turned down.

*

I love my electric blanket. It’s so much better than my acoustic one.

*

Any guy out there who believes women are the weaker sex has never tried to reclaim his half of the blanket on a cold winter’s night.

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From jokebook.eu

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17 Responses to “Joke 814”

  1. vastlycurious.com June 15, 2013 at 04:11 #

    I LOVE my electric blanket 🙂

    Like

  2. graypoet June 15, 2013 at 04:36 #

    Thanks for the nightcap…

    Like

  3. viv blake June 15, 2013 at 07:17 #

    Your secret joke methods revealed!

    Like

  4. jmgoyder June 15, 2013 at 08:36 #

    Ha! Love that first one!

    Like

  5. kiwidutch June 15, 2013 at 09:37 #

    Actually the last one was the one that made me laugh out loud.

    One night I woke up freezing and tried to pull back the duvet from himself, who grunted and held on.
    I kept pulling and he muttered “but I’m cold”. I couldn’t believe that since I had absolutely zero duvet and he had it all so turned on the light.

    He WAS cold… Duh…because he had pulled so much duvet to his side that my edge was barely over him and the rest was completely on his side of the bed on the floor!

    Ergo that last one really rings true for me LOL!

    Like

  6. Grannymar June 15, 2013 at 11:58 #

    I would never survive without my electric blanket, hot packs, bed socks….. Maybe a Toyboy would be more fun! 😉

    Like

  7. sanstorm June 15, 2013 at 13:11 #

    A blanket walked into s bar to order lunch. I’m sorry, that barman said, we only serve wraps.

    Like

  8. sanstorm June 15, 2013 at 13:14 #

    A blanket walked into a bar behind a policeman. Suddenly they heard gun shots. The policeman wailed, “Cover me”

    Like

  9. mairedubhtx June 15, 2013 at 14:34 #

    Great Blanket Jokes!

    Like

  10. sanstorm June 15, 2013 at 15:02 #

    A blanket walks into a bar and is pleased to see everyone else with a lit cigarette. He lights up, takes a draw and the barman says “I’m sorry – we have a blanket ban on smoking.”

    (Tilly – what have you done to me with this post. My day is ruined. I’ll be useless for anything but generating blanket punchlines. Actually, my son has a blanket punchline, as it were. It is “bum”. Best punchline for any joke.)

    Like

  11. slpmartin June 15, 2013 at 18:08 #

    I remember that one…it’s still funny.

    Like

  12. colonialist June 16, 2013 at 00:05 #

    You have given the topic blanket coverage …

    Like

  13. Viveka June 16, 2013 at 16:06 #

    The train story …. I thought you got from me … but no *crying …
    Great ones … another big smile.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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