Joke 816

17 Jun

I’m going to confess up front that I don’t know enough about grammar to understand all of these jokes; but I know some of my readers do, so their four ewe.

  • Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
  • A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
  • A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
  • A Question mark walks into a bar?
  • Two Quotation marks “walk into” a bar.
  • A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking a drink.
  • The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
  • The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  • A synonym ambles into a pub.
  • A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.
  • A hyperbole totally ripped into this bar and destroyed everything.
  • A run on sentence walks into a bar it is thirsty.
  • Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapsed to the bar floor.
  • A group of homophones wok inn two a bar. 

UPDATE:

Al left this clever one in the comments:

  • An antonym walks out of a bar.

 

 

 

 

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27 Responses to “Joke 816”

  1. vastlycurious.com June 17, 2013 at 04:05 #

    I feel safer now : )

    Like

  2. mlissabeth June 17, 2013 at 04:06 #

    i am going to admit that as an SLP, I mostly help kids with the basic grammar, so I don’t understand them all, either.

    Like

  3. jatwood4 June 17, 2013 at 04:06 #

    Ms. Tilly Bud, these are great! Thanks 😎

    Like

  4. graypoet June 17, 2013 at 04:12 #

    Got them, just hope I don’t use them to make up more all night…. Lol.

    Like

  5. jmgoyder June 17, 2013 at 04:14 #

    I wish I’d seen this when I was teaching grammar – hilarious!

    Like

  6. Terry June 17, 2013 at 04:16 #

    those were really interesting. I enjoyed them

    Like

  7. Three Well Beings June 17, 2013 at 04:55 #

    These are clever…and the ones I do understand, are really fun! I would love to know all the rules of grammar, but I think I’ve forgotten nearly all of them! 🙂

    Like

  8. slpmartin June 17, 2013 at 05:25 #

    Hmm…I thought these were quite clever…oh no…my age is showing.

    Like

  9. viv blake June 17, 2013 at 07:17 #

    That synonym was a metaphor! Love ’em.

    Like

  10. lanceleuven June 17, 2013 at 08:48 #

    Well I had no idea what “chiasmus” meant. So I had to Google it. I got this:

    In rhetoric, a verbal pattern (a type of antithesis) in which the second half of an expression is balanced against the first with the parts reversed. Essentially the same as antimetabole.

    Needless to say I still have no idea! 🙂

    Like

  11. Al June 17, 2013 at 12:56 #

    You forgot one. “An antonym walks out of a bar.”

    Like

  12. mairedubhtx June 17, 2013 at 13:32 #

    These were some of my very favorites!

    Like

  13. SchmidleysScribbling June 17, 2013 at 16:14 #

    Antonymns, Homonymns and Synonyms will never understand each other and don’t drink together anymore. Dianne (who love run-on sentences and does not believe in split infinitives any more.)

    Like

  14. SchmidleysScribbling June 17, 2013 at 16:17 #

    A split infinitive walks into a bar, drinks too much and is arrested for double parking.

    Like

  15. sheilamariegrimes June 17, 2013 at 16:20 #

    weird …lol

    Like

  16. Viveka June 17, 2013 at 16:28 #

    Linda, so what chance I will have …. if you can’t understand them ????? But I like the post just because of that. *smile

    Like

  17. sanstorm June 17, 2013 at 19:35 #

    Brilliant selection today Budwiser. I feel I shall return here in future for grammatical inspiration. Very good.

    Like

  18. Janie Jones June 19, 2013 at 17:44 #

    I must confess, I didn’t get many of them myself, but the ones I did were hilarious. If you like grammar jokes, here’s a website you should check out, only I don’t know how to make it a link in your comments section:

    http://theoatmeal.com/tag/grammar

    Like

  19. Janie Jones June 19, 2013 at 17:45 #

    Well, look at that! It added the link automatically. Spiffy cool.

    Like

  20. adinparadise June 24, 2013 at 09:08 #

    Love that last one. 🙂

    Like

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