Joke 820

21 Jun

As you seem to like them so much…

A boy answers the phone. The caller asks, “Where are your parents?”

“They ain’t here!”

“Come on, son. Where’s your grammar?”

“My gramma ain’t here neither. She’s gone to church!”

  • If “can’t” is the contraction for “cannot,” what is “don’t” short for?   Doughnut.
  • Is there a word in English that uses all the vowels including “y”?    Unquestionably!
  • “I am” is said to be the shortest sentence in the English language.  The longest is “I do.”
  • A pregnant woman went into labour and began to yell, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”  She was having contractions.    Garrison Keillor
  • What kind of word would you invite to a fancy tea party?   A proper noun.
  • What word allows you to take away two letters and get one in return?    Alone.
  • Which two letters of the alphabet mean nothing?   MT.

*

Jokes from grammarabout.com.  Click on the cartoons for their links.

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10 Responses to “Joke 820”

  1. Kylie June 21, 2013 at 05:27 #

    So funny!!! Shared these on Facebook.

    Like

  2. viv blake June 21, 2013 at 06:25 #

    I tagged your homonym piece on Sally’s FB. This is just as funny.

    Like

  3. kiwidutch June 21, 2013 at 10:32 #

    Tilly these were really good… enjoyed!!!

    Like

  4. Grannymar June 21, 2013 at 10:58 #

    “Come on, son. Where’s your grammar?”

    “My gramma ain’t here neither. She’s gone to church!”

    This reminded me of a story….

    Like

  5. kateshrewsday June 21, 2013 at 12:38 #

    That first one; I feel incluned to nick it wholesale and run off with it.
    Fantastic fun today, Tilly.

    Like

  6. SidevieW June 21, 2013 at 12:57 #

    lol, I think I know some who should be playing’pin the apostrophe’

    Like

  7. slpmartin June 21, 2013 at 19:48 #

    Fun….I do like the grammar ones.

    Like

  8. bevchen June 22, 2013 at 11:48 #

    LOL, I love these!!

    Like

  9. Viveka June 22, 2013 at 18:22 #

    As you know my English gramma isn’t the best .. neither. *smile – In Sweden we have have a word, LAGOM – that no other country has … and it means, just right. When translating to English – they want to use Moderate, but that isn’t right.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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