Archive | 10:32

Come Up And See My Etchings

25 Jun

I love my dentist.  The whole surgery.  I love them all.

The office opened at 08:45.  At 08:45:01 the phone was answered and an appointment made for 09:10.

By 09:35 my front tooth was back in place.  Look:


The dentist was quite excited to have a chance to use her new adhesive, called Etch.  It stuck that sucker right back on and it feels more secure now than the rest of the teeth in my mouth.

I was fortunate that the tooth sheared off in one piece at an angle.  And that it stuck in the corn cob rather than down my gullet.

I was pleased that there was a work experience student there from Spud’s school, because it gave me a chance to boast that Spud had never needed any treatment at all in his seventeen years; not once.

I was chuffed when the dentist told the student how lovely and polite and friendly Spud was, and a pleasure not to treat.

I smiled all the way home.

All rather different from last night, when I was feeling very sorry for myself and my ugly, must never be seen in public again mouth.  Though I did get the giggles during one of my regular prayers:  O Lord, help me to keep my mouth shut and my lips sealed…

And now I’m off to a poetry reading.


Joke 824

25 Jun
Cry baby

Cry baby (Photo credit: tacit requiem (joanneQEscober ))

Cedric watched as a woman at his supermarket shopped with a three-year-old girl riding in the child’s seat. As they approached the sweet section the little girl asked for some liquorice sticks and her mother told her, “No.”

The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss. The mother said softly, “Now Cindy, our shopping is going well. Don’t be upset…we’ll soon be out of here.”

Presently, they came to the aisle where the ice cream was on offer and the little girl asked for an ice lolly. When told she couldn’t have one she began to cry. The mother said gently, “There, there, Cindy, don’t cry. Only two more aisles to go and then we’ll be at the check out.”

When they got to the conveyor belt the little girl immediately began to demand sweets next to the checkout.  Finally she threw a tantrum when her mother would not let her have any sweets.  The mother calmed her saying, “Cindy, we’ll be through this queue in two minutes and then we can go home and have a glass of squash and a nap.”

Cedric followed them out to the car park and stopped the woman to compliment her on her child management.

“I couldn’t help admiring how patient you were with little Cindy,” Cedric said.

The mother turned and replied, “Oh, no, I’m Cindy. My little girl’s name is Dorothy.”


From Will & Guy

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