Joke 7413

4 Jul
Thor, Cool Cat Patriot 7-4-2012

Thor, Cool Cat Patriot 7-4-2012 (Photo credit: inkknife_2000)

Teacher: True or False?  The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia.
Student: False. It was written in ink.

*

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom.

*

Why did the British soldiers wear red coats?
So they could hide in the tomatoes.

*

Why did Paul Revere ride from Boston to Lexington?

Because the horse was too heavy to carry.

*

What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
The infantry.

*

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British.

[It hurt to post that one]

*

What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Liberty.

*

What did King George think of the American colonists?
He thought they were revolting.

*

Where did the colonists’ dogs protest against England?
At the Boston Flea Party.

*

What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?
Yankee Doodler.

*

Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.

Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.

*

Happy Fourth of July to my American rebels readers!

*

From academictips.

Advertisements

19 Responses to “Joke 7413”

  1. slpmartin July 4, 2013 at 05:04 #

    Oh these were really funny…some extra fireworks for the fourth.

    Like

  2. Grannymar July 4, 2013 at 08:55 #

    I wonder if all our American friends will save us a brownie?

    Like

  3. Janie Jones July 4, 2013 at 10:06 #

    Awesome!

    Like

  4. bevchen July 4, 2013 at 10:48 #

    So they could hide in the tomatoes!! Brilliant!!

    Like

  5. sharechair July 4, 2013 at 13:33 #

    I loved the last one. Clever kid! Thanks for the Happy wishes for this holiday (but considering how much I love your country, I probably would have been a Tory). 🙂

    Like

  6. Viveka July 4, 2013 at 13:45 #

    Happy Independence in Stockpot too. *smile

    Like

  7. mairedubhtx July 4, 2013 at 14:22 #

    Loved the cat!

    Like

  8. Al July 4, 2013 at 14:59 #

    We’ll never stop rebelling until we have all your Maltesers too!

    Like

    • lanceleuven July 4, 2013 at 16:01 #

      Oooh, there’s a line and I think you just crossed it. Prepare to be routed by a one woman army!

      Like

      • Al July 4, 2013 at 16:20 #

        Your comment gives me great pause. Perhaps I was a bit hasty owing to my patriotic fervor on this day. The thought of an armed and dangerous Tilly Bud storming ashore in defense of Brit chocolate lovers is quite sobering and one I don’t relish.

        Perhaps I should be satisfied with my independence and my cache of M & M’s and leave the Maltesers for the English populace to enjoy.

        Thanks for the timely intervention.

        Like

        • lanceleuven July 4, 2013 at 16:25 #

          No problem! I wouldn’t want to see any unnecessary conflict between our two nations. Tea is one thing, but chocolate? That’s a whole different ball game. 🙂

          Like

        • The Laughing Housewife July 4, 2013 at 19:27 #

          You were this . close, Al…lucky for you Lance was holding me back 😀

          Like

  9. colonialist July 4, 2013 at 23:56 #

    These are AWFUL! *great admiration*

    Like

  10. bluebee July 5, 2013 at 23:33 #

    Joke 7413? Did you fall down a wormhole?

    Like

  11. bluebee July 5, 2013 at 23:35 #

    Oh, silly me 😀

    Like

All comments are welcome, though compliments may result in you having your Malteser privileges revoked

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Nicola Hulme Author

Exploring creative writing and learning every day

Worldly Winds

It's not easy being me!

Vivinfrance's Blog

mainly poetry, also quilts, pictures, life-writing and the occasional short story.

Unpicked:Restitched

Where is the heart of Stockport?

Grains of Sand

notices and reflections in ministry

The Cvillean

The adventures of little read writing Hood

%d bloggers like this: