Joke 840

11 Jul
Funny Twitter T-shirt

Funny Twitter T-shirt (Photo credit: Robert Scoble)

Funny One Liners from Twitter:

  • It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than to figure out how to limit their access to your Facebook page.
  • I remember when yoga was called Twister.
  • One of the ‘World’s Strongest Man’ events should be “Pulling apart two shopping carts that are stuck together.”
  • Childhood is like being drunk; everyone remembers what you did, except you.
  • We all think we’re pretty smart until we try to turn on someone else’s shower.
  • Another World’s Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.
  • Told the doctor I thought I had athlete’s foot. He looked at me and said, “I don’t think you have athlete’s anything.”
  • The kids text me “plz” Because it’s shorter than “please”. I text back “no” because it’s shorter than “yes”.

 

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15 Responses to “Joke 840”

  1. sarsm July 11, 2013 at 10:46 #

    Ha ha! I really needed this this morning! I always struggle with other people’s showers!! 😉

    Like

  2. jatwood4 July 11, 2013 at 11:56 #

    Great laugh — thanks! 😎

    Like

  3. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com July 11, 2013 at 11:56 #

    Witty stuff.

    Like

  4. Al July 11, 2013 at 13:00 #

    All funny and true. The one about the texting should be in the Henny Youngman Hall of Fame.

    Like

  5. bluebee July 11, 2013 at 13:36 #

    So true about FB

    Like

  6. Katharine Trauger July 11, 2013 at 15:07 #

    Loved the “yes/no” one and thanks for them all! 🙂

    Like

  7. Three Well Beings July 11, 2013 at 17:31 #

    We all think we’re pretty smart until we try to turn on someone else’s shower.–This one really hits home! I loved each of these, Tilly!

    Like

  8. kiwidutch July 11, 2013 at 18:28 #

    Seriously, The best one in ages and has gone into my top three Tilly… Briliant list and SO true (and I thought other people’s showers and the shopping trolley thing was ‘just me” LOL)
    …btw I am SOOOOOOO stealing the last one for use on my kids… they don’t text yet but they do say “plz” in a lazy way rather too often (and usually only at home, because they say “please” beautifully for other people). FINALLY I can get my own back!!!
    (Kiwi Is now relishing that thought probably more than she ought to! Haha)

    Like

  9. adinparadise July 11, 2013 at 19:06 #

    Love these, Tilly. 😀

    Like

  10. SchmidleysScribbling July 11, 2013 at 19:41 #

    These were great and like wise saying. My Aunt tried to use the shower in my bathroom and came out sputtering. I had fancy Italian fixtures installed which have handles that turn in the opposite direction from American fixtures. She says to me, you should have bought Koeler (an American firm). Dianne

    Like

  11. Rorybore July 12, 2013 at 04:59 #

    LOL – that last one is the best!!
    I think I am tech smart until I am at someone else’s house and try to turn on their TV. Seriously…..can we not standardize all these remotes and all the devices they work? I feel like I need a course or something to just play a DVD.

    Like

  12. benzeknees July 12, 2013 at 20:51 #

    Luv no because it’s shorter than yes!

    Like

  13. Perfecting Motherhood July 18, 2013 at 06:11 #

    Love the T-shirt!

    Like

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Nicola Hulme Author

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