Archive | 04:00

Joke 848

19 Jul

Be-yourself-Everyone (Photo credit: Patricia Mellin)

Wise Words.  

They are not all funny but those which are not funny are so useful, I have left them in.

  • One good turn gets the duvet.
  • The early worm gets eaten.
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  • There are two theories to arguing with a woman.  Neither works.
  • The second mouse gets the cheese.
  • Hotel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
  • Never kick a fresh cowpat on a hot day.
  • Even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.
  • The well bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves.
  • When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
  • To cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
  • We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from wise guys.
  • Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure they are not the same eight hours.
  • A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed.
  • A group of idiots led by a wise man can defeat a group of wise people led by an idiot.


From Will & Guy


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