Be-yourself-Everyone (Photo credit: Patricia Mellin)
Wise Words.
They are not all funny but those which are not funny are so useful, I have left them in.
- One good turn gets the duvet.
- The early worm gets eaten.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
- The second mouse gets the cheese.
- Hotel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
- Never kick a fresh cowpat on a hot day.
- Even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.
- The well bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves.
- When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
- To cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
- We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from wise guys.
- Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure they are not the same eight hours.
- A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed.
- A group of idiots led by a wise man can defeat a group of wise people led by an idiot.
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The Laughing Housewife 
This was very interesting…thanks. And your beginning comment “They are not all funny but those which are not funny are so useful….” was true…and I am happy you left them all in.
Peace
Siggi
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My fave – work 8 hours & sleep 8 hours & make sure they aren’t the same 8 hours.
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There was a comedian once who said that his mother would always taunt him when he found something he thought was lost, by saying, “If it was a snake it would have bitten you!” His reply was, “If it was a snake I wouldn’t have been looking for it!”
BTW, love this one: “The second mouse gets the cheese.” Which brings to mind this from Shel Silverstein:
If you’re bird,
be an early bird
and catch the worm
for your breakfast plate.
If you’re a bird,
be an early early bird.
But if your a worm,
sleep late.
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I resolve to be the second mouse. Is that harsh? Or just evolution…
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Very good indeed!
When people use the “Early bird catches the worm…” line on me I always reply “But gets caught by the insomniac cat.” It still hasn’t received the laugh I think it deserves. 😉
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It has, now. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Wahey! Finally, someone’s appreciated it! Thank you! 🙂
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Thanks for these, Tilly! I’ve heard some before, but love these kinds of reminders. And the funny ones were funny enough to make up for the serious ones. 😉
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They are all humour – just that some of it is of a wry variety.
The early worm eaten by the early bird becomes a late worm; but the late bird catches the late worm who is then late twice.
An idiot leading a group of wise men is an impossibility!
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All good to know!
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To cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up. SOOO TRUE !
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