Joke 852

23 Jul

Lost in Translation

No picture today.  I had an illustration for you – an amusing cartoon – but I couldn’t bring myself to post it because there was a spelling mistake…I think I need help.

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female……Any part under a car’s hood.
Male……..The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female……Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male……..Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female……The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male…Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)
Female…….A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male………Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v.
Female……A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male……..Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female……An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male……..A source of entertainment, self-statement and male bonding.
7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female……The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male……..Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female…….A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male………A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.

*

Thanks to Viveka for this one.

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9 Responses to “Joke 852”

  1. Terry July 23, 2013 at 04:05 #

    those were awesome!!

    Like

  2. slpmartin July 23, 2013 at 04:15 #

    Some very clever ones in that list.

    Like

  3. Katharine Trauger July 23, 2013 at 05:41 #

    Too true. :-

    Like

  4. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com July 23, 2013 at 07:11 #

    That last one is the reason I snaffle the bodger at the first opportunity. I loathe what Jock calls Channel-Hopping and I call Purgatory, preferring to look at the Radio Times and decide if anything’s worth watching.

    Like

  5. Karen Snyder July 23, 2013 at 14:35 #

    Smiling broadly here! 😀

    Like

  6. Al July 23, 2013 at 15:43 #

    “Make up sex”…..

    Female: The intimate and loving bonding of a couple to dispel the bad feelings caused by an unfortunate disagreement.

    Male: A good reason to argue.

    Like

  7. benzeknees July 24, 2013 at 20:27 #

    You are so right – men & women always see things from a different angle!

    Like

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Nicola Hulme Author

Exploring creative writing and learning every day

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