Joke 855

26 Jul
Lives saved by seat belts and airbags

Lives saved by seat belts and airbags (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Food For Thought

  • I started out with nothing…I still have most of it.
  • I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
  • Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  • If all is not lost, where is it?
  • It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
  • If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
  • The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
  • I went to school to become a wit; only got halfway through.
  • It was all so different before everything changed.
  • Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.
  • A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
  • I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.
  • Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.
  • The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.
  • If you’re living on the edge, make sure you’re wearing your seat belt.
  • A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  • It’s not hard to meet expenses…they’re everywhere.
  • Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.

From Will & Guy

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5 Responses to “Joke 855”

  1. Katharine Trauger July 26, 2013 at 04:58 #

    Hmm. I didn’t finish school, either! ūüėź

    Like

  2. sanstorm July 26, 2013 at 07:09 #

    The bathroom one is true.

    Like

  3. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com July 26, 2013 at 07:19 #

    My favourite is “a closed mouth gathers no foot” – I just wish I could remember that when I’m talking.

    Like

  4. slpmartin July 26, 2013 at 23:26 #

    Oh…these were just delightful to read…enjoyed them much.

    Like

  5. viveka July 27, 2013 at 10:49 #

    “I started out with nothing‚ĶI still have most of it.” – that is just so brilliant .. just love it.
    Great read … Linda.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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