Joke 868

8 Aug

Some jokes from So Much Pun, in honour of where I am going to be tomorrow.

I'm Wearing Glasses All The Time, Anyway...

They're Always Cheaper During the Off-Season

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Neighbors

And this one from Yahoo.

Because Shakespeare was so deeply absorbed during the writing of his tragedies, he put almost impossible strains on his bladder. To make matters worse, the tiny hooks and eyes that his tailor had placed on his pants slowed down the process considerably.  The playwright demanded that the tailor make larger hooks and eyes.

After a few days of trial, the Bard reported back, “Truly, ’tis speedier these larger hooks and eyes, but still and all, when I’m in a hurry, ’tis not quick enough.  I want you to redesign my trousers using leather ties.”

The tailor did exactly as he was told and Shakespeare jumped into the pants without delay.

Exactly one week later, however, the playwright was back at his door.

“Truly the leather straps are faster than those hooks and eyes, but even so ’tis still too slow.  I propose that you throw away the straps and just cut me a little hole.”

The tailor bounced to his feet.  “You ask for hooks, I give you hooks. You ask for straps, I give you straps. But holes? Holes! You of all people ought to know that . . . there’s no holes, Bard!”


7 Responses to “Joke 868”

  1. slpmartin August 8, 2013 at 04:06 #

    Hmm…wasn’t certain where that one was going…but it got there. 🙂


  2. graypoet August 8, 2013 at 04:11 #

    Thanks for the smile.


  3. siggiofmaine August 8, 2013 at 04:18 #

    That was one big SIGH, but will be passing these all along !
    Love seeing your email show up at the end of my day……for sweet dreams of course !


  4. Musings August 8, 2013 at 07:22 #

    Yowch! I had to think about that a bit before I got my chuckle.


  5. colonialist August 8, 2013 at 09:21 #

    Aaargh! *looks for cliff to jump over*
    To owner of a vehicle with a flat tyre : ‘Tubey or not tubey?’


  6. Al August 8, 2013 at 12:47 #



  7. Janie Jones August 8, 2013 at 15:48 #

    Best shaggy dog story ever!!!!


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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