Today’s jokes are in honour of where I am today.
William Shakespeare walks into a pub and the barman says, “Oi, Get out of here, you’re Bard!”
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Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
“I’ll do a sketch of thee.
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B, or not 2B?”
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What’s the difference between William Shakespeare and Walt Disney?
Shakespeare writes and Walt Disney.
(Try it in a Scottish accent)
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I am a little fat. I like food; what can I say? I have dull hair: mousey. I don’t wear much make-up and have no need of a dressing table. If I look like a bag lady, I chose my own clothes. If I look nice, the Hub picked them for me. Despite all this, I am a little vain. This photograph is from 2003. I had to go back that far to find one of me that I liked. But I don’t really care: my husband still thinks I’m beautiful and if he doesn’t, he loves me enough to lie about it. I’m lucky. I have two boys. They never lie to me. Still, you can't have everything.
The Laughing Housewife 
We just finished watching Taylor and Burton in Taming of the Shrew. Hilarious stuff. Shared it with one of those professionally bored teens and he liked it, too. Classic guy, W.S., wasn’t he!
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Oh, I meant to include, watched it for the fourth time. Love the last scene the most.
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As the old Laugh In character used to say “Very Interesting!”.
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I made my husband say that punchline in a Scottish accent (he loves to play with accents) … but no matter how hard he tried, I still don’t get that joke. However, I laughed pretty hard at the Scottish accent-tries. 🙂
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*helpfully* A Scot would say ‘Diz nae’ for ‘does not’. They’rrre funny like tha’.
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Love the Hamlet one!
Director: ‘I want Ophelia!’
Young extra: ‘Wait until we find somewhere more private!’
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Took me a couple tries, but finally got the Walt Disney one!
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