Joke 879

Modern art, or absent-mindedness? (Photo credit: Wrayson)

I think I may have posted a few of these before but some of them are new and all of them are funny.

Points To Ponder As You Get Older

• If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
• A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.
• A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
• Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
• My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and All Bran.
• I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
• Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
• Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
• If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?
• It was a whole lot easier to get older than to get wiser.
• I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.
• Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
• Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
• It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
• The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.
• If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.
• When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
• It’s not hard to meet expenses . . .they’re everywhere.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m here after.
• Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

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From Fropki.com