Joke 880

Difference between Men and Women (Photo credit: -LucaM- Photography WWW.LUCAMOGLIA.IT)

• When women are depressed they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.
• When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch.
• Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Dogs are a man’s best friend. Now you know which sex is smarter.
• The only way to understand a woman is to love her – and then it isn’t necessary to understand her.
• To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.
• Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.
• A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her; a man, of the woman who he didn’t.
• There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before marriage and after marriage.
• Only two things are necessary to keep a wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
• Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
• Any married man should forget his mistakes – no use two people remembering the same thing.
• Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
• A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
• If you women knew what we were thinking, you’d never stop slapping us.
• Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.

From hehe.at