Joke 880

20 Aug
Difference between Men and Women

Difference between Men and Women (Photo credit: -LucaM- Photography WWW.LUCAMOGLIA.IT)

  • When women are depressed they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.
  • When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch.
  • Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Dogs are a man’s best friend. Now you know which sex is smarter.
  • The only way to understand a woman is to love her – and then it isn’t necessary to understand her.
  • To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.
  • Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.
  • A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her; a man, of the woman who he didn’t.
  • There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before marriage and after marriage.
  • Only two things are necessary to keep a wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
  • Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
  • Any married man should forget his mistakes – no use two people remembering the same thing.
  • Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
  • A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
  • If you women knew what we were thinking, you’d never stop slapping us.
  • Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.



11 Responses to “Joke 880”

  1. Sigrid Gerstner Stevens Saradunn August 20, 2013 at 05:14 #

    I nice beddy bye fairy tale ! Love it.


  2. slpmartin August 20, 2013 at 05:33 #

    Oh…these were very funny.


  3. Violet August 20, 2013 at 11:43 #

    Reblogged this on Twisted Darkness.


  4. benzeknees August 20, 2013 at 16:55 #

    No crime & lots of fat happy women! Hear, hear!


  5. Al August 20, 2013 at 20:07 #

    I’d leave a comment, but I don’t want to start another argument.


  6. Grannymar August 20, 2013 at 22:32 #

    ‘A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her;’ He did. I still do!


  7. August 20, 2013 at 23:21 #

    Ohhhhh I have missed your humor!


  8. lanceleuven August 21, 2013 at 12:20 #

    “If you women knew what we were thinking, you’d never stop slapping us.”

    You will never know how true that is. 😉


  9. Perfecting Motherhood September 8, 2013 at 00:39 #

    I wish more men would read this. 🙂


  10. adinparadise September 16, 2013 at 01:25 #

    Hehehe……….this is so funny. Maybe they’d like to be slapped. 😀


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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