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Globesmacked

23 Aug

Photo by Best DSC!

Spud has complained that I have posted nothing but jokes this week.  Since I prefer to be the nagger rather than the naggee, here I am.

I’m still not well so all I can manage is to share something which made me smile this week.  You remember how the Globe sent me an autographed programme?

On Tuesday, they sent me another!   I adore the Globe theatre and all who sail in her.

I’m pleased that when I die, the boys will each get an autographed copy.  Feeling like I do, that won’t be long now…

Photo by Best DSC!

 

Joke 883

23 Aug
funny math

funny math (Photo credit: Yuchao.L)

It’s time we got serious around here, so I have a few math/s jokes for you.  If you understand them, please tell me if they are funny (with the exception of the one about the statistician; I got that one).

  • Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
  • “A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems” (P. Erdos)  Addendum: American coffee is good for lemmas.
  • An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn’t care.
  • Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
  • Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them, they translate it into their own language, and forthwith it means something entirely different. — Goethe
  • Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things. — J. H. Poincare
  • What is a rigorous definition of rigor?
  • There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!
  • I do not think — therefore I am not.

    funny math

    funny math (Photo credit: Yuchao.L)

Here is the illustration of this principle:
One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, “Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?”  Descartes replied, “I think not,” and promptly vanished.

  • A topologist is a person who doesn’t know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
  • A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there. (Charles R Darwin)
  • A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
  • Classification of mathematical problems as linear and nonlinear is like classification of the Universe as bananas and non-bananas.
  • A law of conservation of difficulties: there is no easy way to prove a deep result.
  • A tragedy of mathematics is a beautiful conjecture ruined by an ugly fact.
  • Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

    Bad maths!

    Bad maths! (Photo credit: linniekin)

  • Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules.   Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
  • Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.
  • Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. (Plato)
  • The difference between an introvert and extrovert mathematicians is: An introvert mathematician looks at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert mathematician looks at your shoes.
  • Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad and theology makes them sinful. (Martin Luther)
hard math

hard math (Photo credit: misterbisson)

From math.utah.edu

 

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