It’s time we got serious around here, so I have a few math/s jokes for you. If you understand them, please tell me if they are funny (with the exception of the one about the statistician; I got that one).
- Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
- “A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems” (P. Erdos) Addendum: American coffee is good for lemmas.
- An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn’t care.
- Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
- Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them, they translate it into their own language, and forthwith it means something entirely different. — Goethe
- Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things. — J. H. Poincare
- What is a rigorous definition of rigor?
- There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!
- I do not think — therefore I am not.
Here is the illustration of this principle:
One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, “Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?” Descartes replied, “I think not,” and promptly vanished.
- A topologist is a person who doesn’t know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
- A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there. (Charles R Darwin)
- A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
- Classification of mathematical problems as linear and nonlinear is like classification of the Universe as bananas and non-bananas.
- A law of conservation of difficulties: there is no easy way to prove a deep result.
- A tragedy of mathematics is a beautiful conjecture ruined by an ugly fact.
- Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
- Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
- Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.
- Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. (Plato)
- The difference between an introvert and extrovert mathematicians is: An introvert mathematician looks at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert mathematician looks at your shoes.
- Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad and theology makes them sinful. (Martin Luther)