Joke 883

23 Aug
funny math

funny math (Photo credit: Yuchao.L)

It’s time we got serious around here, so I have a few math/s jokes for you.  If you understand them, please tell me if they are funny (with the exception of the one about the statistician; I got that one).

  • Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
  • “A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems” (P. Erdos)  Addendum: American coffee is good for lemmas.
  • An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn’t care.
  • Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
  • Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them, they translate it into their own language, and forthwith it means something entirely different. — Goethe
  • Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things. — J. H. Poincare
  • What is a rigorous definition of rigor?
  • There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!
  • I do not think — therefore I am not.

    funny math

    funny math (Photo credit: Yuchao.L)

Here is the illustration of this principle:
One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, “Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?”  Descartes replied, “I think not,” and promptly vanished.

  • A topologist is a person who doesn’t know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
  • A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there. (Charles R Darwin)
  • A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
  • Classification of mathematical problems as linear and nonlinear is like classification of the Universe as bananas and non-bananas.
  • A law of conservation of difficulties: there is no easy way to prove a deep result.
  • A tragedy of mathematics is a beautiful conjecture ruined by an ugly fact.
  • Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

    Bad maths!

    Bad maths! (Photo credit: linniekin)

  • Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules.   Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
  • Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.
  • Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. (Plato)
  • The difference between an introvert and extrovert mathematicians is: An introvert mathematician looks at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert mathematician looks at your shoes.
  • Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad and theology makes them sinful. (Martin Luther)
hard math

hard math (Photo credit: misterbisson)

From math.utah.edu

 

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10 Responses to “Joke 883”

  1. Plant Electrician August 23, 2013 at 04:12 #

    Ok. Finding X on the triangle is very funny! I had to show that to my son and my wife.

    Like

  2. Sigrid Gerstner Stevens Saradunn August 23, 2013 at 05:44 #

    Math and I…oil and water. Know lots of people who will love and understand and not glaze over at the sight of the word “math” !
    Peace
    Siggi

    Like

  3. viveka August 23, 2013 at 10:07 #

    Mathematics has never been my strongest side and will never been … so long as I can add and take away … and multiply am I happy – so I didn’t understand half this .. but I love the last quote by Martin Luther King. Excellent. Wish you and your boys a great weekend.

    Like

  4. Hanna August 23, 2013 at 11:01 #

    Hahah… all very funny ^o^.

    Like

  5. bluebee August 23, 2013 at 11:50 #

    I still have maths nightmares: maths is not funny on any level.

    Although, I always find that “find x” cartoon hilarious.

    Like

  6. benzeknees August 23, 2013 at 21:38 #

    Math & I are total strangers so none of these made any sense to me!

    Like

  7. colonialist August 23, 2013 at 22:35 #

    Funny! I think that to be a mathematician all you need is to be able to write strings of squiggles and look profound.

    Like

  8. jatwood4 August 24, 2013 at 00:37 #

    Very funny — the Descartes example is spot on, I needed a couple of minutes to get the find x joke, all of these are great!

    Like

  9. Janie Jones August 26, 2013 at 23:10 #

    Perhaps I will understand more of these jokes after I get through calculus.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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